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Wednesday, February 9, 2011

There Are No Vampires

Any one remotely observant has heard about or had opportunity to notice the ‘Twilight’ phenomena. Women young and old are veritably obsessed with the series. It may come as a surprise to some, but I actually understand this. I understand losing oneself in the fictional worlds encased within the pages of books. Throughout my life, I’ve spent countless hours in the imaginary worlds of Orson Scott Card, C.S. Lewis, Richard Adams, J.R.R. Tolkien....among many others. As a child, my parents would punish me by not allowing me to sit in my room and read because, given my choice, that’s where I would be.

There did however, come a point where I realized that I was trading in experiences and opportunities in the real world for those in my fictional ones. My fictional worlds were an escape; places that were exciting and adventurous but, always, much, much safer and insular for a shy and insecure child than the real world.

As a teenager, I learned to reach outside my shell. I continued to enjoy books, but forced myself to take an active part in the world around me. What a plethora of opportunities there are to engage in and to grow from in the world. There is a wealth of knowledge to be found in books, but that knowledge cannot take the place of the kind of learning that comes from life experience. One cannot truly experience life, its highs or its lows, through the pages of a book and it is only through truly experiencing life that one hones character and is able to develop empathy and integrity. We can learn about the kind of person we’d like to become in a book, but we can never develop great qualities without first living and experiencing them.

Let’s return to ‘Twilight’ for a moment...women are obsessed with vampires because they are the ultimate dark knight. They come, not only to sweep you off your feet and take you away from the mundane trivialities of day to day life, but from life itself and all the pesky little inconveniences that mortality entails.

The tragedy is that women spend their time daydreaming about being rescued from life instead of grabbing onto it, immersing themselves in it and living it. Life is messy. It isn’t the picture perfect experience found in romance books. No matter how brave or handsome the knight in shining armor, at the end of the day, there will still be a house to clean, jobs to do, kids to feed, noses to wipe....this is just life. Instead of cherishing the moments of it, regardless how seemingly small and inconsequential, women abnegate and renounce it. They mourn and revile their common, mundane existences while missing irreplaceable and integral opportunities for growth.

Ultimately, there never was a perfect knight in shining armor...not really, because at the end of the day, our knight was just a man; a human being, equipped with the prerequisite agglomeration of human faults and weaknesses. He never could have saved us because he would have had to save us from ourselves and from inescapable aspects of human existence. Thus, women have abandoned their human knights for mythical, immortal beings.

But there are no vampires. There is only this one life that we have and all the messy inconveniences that come with it...because life is messy. It’s messy and difficult but it’s also wonderful and beautiful. We can waste life pining for things we’ll never have; things that never have, can or will exist, or we can jump head first into it and make the most of it....the most of ourselves.

What a shallow and ego-centric notion this whole knight/vampire business is to begin with; imagine wasting life wishing for someone to save you; to take responsibility for your happiness, when you could actually be out there doing something for someone else. You could be doing your best to help others instead of fruitlessly pining for something that will never happen. It is no one’s responsibility to take upon them the insurmountable task of saving us from ourselves. Happiness and contentment are things that are found within and not something that we can gain from others.

Once again, no matter how dashing, brave, noble and wonderful, the knight in shining armor will always fall short. This is how entitled; how detached from logic and reality women have become. If our knight in shining armor can no longer make the cut, what chance does the average, decent guy stand? Women are so immersed in what they want; the guaranteed perfect happy ending they are convinced they are owed, but they place no focus on what they are bringing to the table....which increasingly is little more than a myriad of impossible expectations.

As much as I love my fictional, literary worlds where I engage in epic battles against the powers of darkness, overcome incredible odds and have assisted in saving the world on several occasions....in real life, I can actually make a difference. I can fight against evils in the world, by speaking out against them, by choosing and defending right and by living a good and moral existence. I may never be a heroine that saves the world, but I can strive to be a great wife and mother, devoting my time to my family and in seeking to aid and uplift those around me. I may not be able to defeat terrible villains but I can do my small bit to defeat hunger, sadness and hopelessness in the downtrodden, defeated and destitute that I come in contact with. And, while I will never be spirited away by a dark and handsome vampire and imbued with immortality and eternal youth, I can have a real relationship with a decent man who I can love and who loves me back. While it may not be the great and fantastic voyage found within the fictional worlds of books…it is real; it is the voyage of life and it is infinitely more rewarding than any that can be found in a book.

10 comments:

By The Sword said...

I have nothing to offer except that I like this post and the wisdom that is in it.

Anonymous said...

Amfortas says:

Yes, wisdom.

The fantasy takes little effort. Reality takes a lot.

What is so disturbing about this particular flight of fantasy is that there seem to be no redeeming lessons or qualities. Indeed, it draws young women (in particular) into darkness with little thought to having them find life's lessons that can lead them out again.

Good to see you back, Kim.

Strong Man said...

Beautiful. I love your thoughts and I'm thrilled you're a woman taking a bold stand on this vital issue.

It's wonderful to see a woman recognizing that women who idealize a false and impossible vision of a knight in shining armor can cause just as much damage as a man viewing soft-core porn that idealizes the physical shape of a woman.

I've added you to my blog roll because I love your perspective.

I hope you'll visit and comment on my blog at Good Strong Men

Posts you might relate to include:
Preside vs Equal Partners

Women Supporting Husband Leaders

and probably others.

Keep up the good fight!

Anonymous said...

"Any one remotely observant has heard about or had opportunity to notice the ‘Twilight’ phenomena."

I've watched several of these crazes come and go over my life. First it was Patrick Swayze, then New Kids on The Block, then Hanson and that kid from Home Improvement, then the Backstreet Boys and NSync, it's always looked incredibly pathetic to me, as a man.

Twilight will be the same way and then some new female obsession will take its place and I will be retching again as I watch the hordes of imbecilic,pathetic women swoon over a guy or guys who turn(s) out to be gayer than greek wrestling.

One thing,though, it is a continual reminder that women are not the superior beings they all think they are. Hell,I could tell 99.9% of these dudes were fags,just LOOK at them. And the ones that aren't? They can get a lot better than you. You may have thousands of men to choose from but they have millions of women.

Good luck on that fantasy,dearies, keep the chuckles comin'.

tiredofitall said...

Great stuff Kim. It isn't just women who idealize unrealistic fantasies into their humdrum life.

Us guys are guilty of it too.

I think it helps to explain why so many guys keep falling for bad women. They see good women in fiction and assume that the women in reality will somehow live up to those ideals.

Anonymous said...

http://antimisandry.com/general-news/lying-so-easy-38720.html

Jennifer said...

Strong Man, I think your thoughts are well-said and I like your strong heart, but I disagree with your position that marriage should be compared to the presidency or the priesthood, especially since I believe we ARE all equal when it comes to the church. Men being leaders of their wives is actually an imitation of what Kim's describing, being saving knights, the "kings" and prophets of their homes and mates.

Kim, this is beautiful. I love life and I love stories; I can't imagine substituting a real husband for a vampire, of all things. In healthy doses, art and writing are essential for life; books and their lessons have always traveled with me and always will. They (books, films, art, music) are not life, but voices of wisdom to it, sacred windows, and yes escapes, from the fantasy tales to the art to the Christians of old and present who counsel us today. Praise God.

Anonymous said...

www.youtube.com/watch?v=JiiDHUkNL2c

The young girl at the beginning of this video made me think of you Kim. Did you resemble her? :)

Andrea said...

Oh Kim!

I just found your blog and have spent HOURS here! Your writing is so well thought out and your message so beautiful.

Thank you.

It makes me so sad, to see what has happened in our society in respect to gender. If more western women would just open their eyes and hearts to what is real in this life.

I'm a 28 year old female who works with women all day long. All I hear is b******g
about men. It seems they can never do enough for us, huh? I just want to tell these ladies to wake up!

There have been horrible injustices done to women, yes....and in many places these terrible things are still taking place. There is no excuse for it, but there is also no excuse for what damages extreme feminist mindset has done to our culture....destroying families and reducing our cultural opinion of men to dangerous rapists at worst, or lazy, immature, sex addicted slobs at best.

I love men. I love my father and my fiancée and the many close male friends I have. More and more men are becoming resentful and disenchanted with western woman. Before long, it seems we will all be written off as furious feminazis.

There are still some American women out there who don't buy into all of this c**p, but I'm afraid that the majority are ruining it for us all.

How on earth do we turn this around so our children can have healthy romantic relationships? Where do we go from here...?

When I stand up for men with my female friends, I'm automatically put in the
category of "naieve doormat" or "slut".

Thank you for your work. And to all the men out there: I'm deeply sorry.

M said...

I like this post. Ditto, ditto, amen, amen. When I was in college I worked at the bookstore on campus. I worked the release parties for two of the Twilight books (which I've skimmed but never read - so maybe I'm no authority to talk about them). The thing that disturbed me was the number of middle-aged women who were reading them...and showing up for a midnight party to get them that much sooner! Crazy.

Not to mention that the primary relationship depicted in this book, besides being false/idealized/unattainable - is completely dysfunctional and co-dependent. Who wants to give their little girls this as a model? All I remember is the drivel in the second book about "maybe I'll just jump off this cliff since I can't live without him and he's not coming back." Really?!?