I'm sorry to bother you, but I was hoping you could help me.
I have spent the last year or so studying feminism and the harm it has brought society. I don't know how long you have been involved in anti-feminism/men's rights, but I have the impression it has been a while. Would you mind recommending a site that is woman friendly? Are there any? Every one I have seen and joined as of yet (and it's been a fair few) have been more anti-woman than pro-men. I frequently find myself feeling less than sympathetic,and indeed sometimes hostile, towards these men - not at all what I want to achieve!
I want to learn more, become involved, and support men's rights but I am extremely uncomfortable doing so with all of the sites I have found so far. I come to you as a concerned wife and mother. Thank you.
What you see above is a message sent to me by a woman. I've received more than one such message. Invariably, they come from women who are opposed to the rampant misandry they see in society, who reject (or are at least starting to reject) feminism but are uncomfortable at MRA sites and forums because of the anti-women sentiments they perceive there.
While I responded to the above message individually, I would like to respond to the rest collectively.
First of all, I think it bears mentioning that men have been on the receiving end of a concerted effort to extirpate them. The very law that purports to protect us has conspired to destroy the lives of men. They have been vilified; their goodness and generosity maligned and used against them. They have been betrayed by those whom they have loved, cared for and sought to protect.
Yes, there are angry, sad, disillusioned, disappointed and disgusted men.
I would even submit that men aren't nearly as angry as they have every right to be under the circumstances considering that many of them have had their lives decimated....everything they have worked for and cared about ripped away from them. And, while there may be a few voices that are hostile toward women...that is NOTHING compared to an entire society and legal system that is geared toward the decimation of men.
That said, the reason to oppose misandry in society and feminism is because they are wrong. It isn't to fit in, to join a group or to expand one's social horizons. Who cares if you are unwelcome or uncomfortable at a men's forum? The entire online community could hate you and it should have zero effect on what you do because you shouldn't be doing it in order to gain approval. If you want fanfare and pats on the back, then adhere to and promulgate the oh-so-popular feminist ideologies....stand upon a platform of hatred and anti-male bias if you're looking for acceptance, praise and adulation. For me....I would rather do what is right.
You don't even have to be part of an online forum (although I do recommend taking the time to read the articles and further educate yourself) in order to fight misandry. Start your own site, or your own blog, and wage your own war. Fight feminism in the home, at work, on the streets and amongst your peers. Speak out against hatred. Speak out each and every time you hear the common, readily accepted biases and slurs against men. Stand up in defense of such "antiquated notions" as honesty, virtue, marital fidelity, integrity, kindness and compassion. Condemn the feminist culture that encourages promiscuity, lasciviousness, cruelty, selfishness and a lack of accountability in women. Denounce double standards and biases in society and within our legal system. Stand up in support of a father's right to parent his children and censure those who would suggest a father is anything less than integral in the lives of his children. Deprecate each and every incidence of violence, dishonesty, cruelty and evil on the part of women and demand that they be held accountable for their actions.
What difference does it make if you don't like someone on a forum? You shouldn't be doing this for them...at least not on an individual level. You should be doing it for your fathers and for their fathers...for the countless, nameless, forgotten men upon whose backs our society was built. You should be doing it for your brothers and your husbands whom you love and for your sons whose job it is for you to protect. You should be doing it for society and humanity and you should even be doing it for yourself because, as bad as it is to live in a world decayed by a corrupting evil....to live in such a world and have done NOTHING is inexcusable.
Ultimately, the reason to do what is right is simply because it is the right thing to do.
You may not be able to change the world, but you can make a difference in the lives of those around you. There are so many ways to help. A few additional things that I do and recommend;
-Organize a coat drive in your area and collect coats for the homeless (the vast majority of which are men).
-Suggest doing an "angel tree" at your work or church for the local VA Homes and hospitals (for anyone who is unfamiliar with angel trees, they are Christmas trees whose sole ornaments are comprised of paper angels with a 'wish list' for different individuals. People can pick an angel off the tree and purchase the things on the list. I've done this for veterans, elderly in retirement homes, the homeless and impoverished children, and it is always my family's favorite part of Christmas).
-Find like minded individuals and together start a letter writing campaign protesting misandry in our media and legal system.
This is what integrity is. It is deciding what is right and standing up for it no matter what.
*I started this post about a month ago (it's been sitting with plenty of company in the dusty archives of Kim's uncompleted posts) and was reminded of it when I read Hestia's recent blog post 'The Place Women for in the MRM'. I would recommend reading it as she adds additional insight and ideas on activism.