Standing Up For Right

Hi Kim;

I'm sorry to bother you, but I was hoping you could help me.

I have spent the last year or so studying feminism and the harm it has brought society. I don't know how long you have been involved in anti-feminism/men's rights, but I have the impression it has been a while. Would you mind recommending a site that is woman friendly? Are there any? Every one I have seen and joined as of yet (and it's been a fair few) have been more anti-woman than pro-men. I frequently find myself feeling less than sympathetic,and indeed sometimes hostile, towards these men - not at all what I want to achieve!


I want to learn more, become involved, and support men's rights but I am extremely uncomfortable doing so with all of the sites I have found so far. I come to you as a concerned wife and mother. Thank you.

What you see above is a message sent to me by a woman. I've received more than one such message. Invariably, they come from women who are opposed to the rampant misandry they see in society, who reject (or are at least starting to reject) feminism but are uncomfortable at MRA sites and forums because of the anti-women sentiments they perceive there.

While I responded to the above message individually, I would like to respond to the rest collectively.

First of all, I think it bears mentioning that men have been on the receiving end of a concerted effort to extirpate them. The very law that purports to protect us has conspired to destroy the lives of men. They have been vilified; their goodness and generosity maligned and used against them. They have been betrayed by those whom they have loved, cared for and sought to protect.

Yes, there are angry, sad, disillusioned, disappointed and disgusted men.

I would even submit that men aren't nearly as angry as they have every right to be under the circumstances considering that many of them have had their lives decimated....everything they have worked for and cared about ripped away from them. And, while there may be a few voices that are hostile toward women...that is NOTHING compared to an entire society and legal system that is geared toward the decimation of men.

That said, the reason to oppose misandry in society and feminism is because they are wrong. It isn't to fit in, to join a group or to expand one's social horizons. Who cares if you are unwelcome or uncomfortable at a men's forum? The entire online community could hate you and it should have zero effect on what you do because you shouldn't be doing it in order to gain approval. If you want fanfare and pats on the back, then adhere to and promulgate the oh-so-popular feminist ideologies....stand upon a platform of hatred and anti-male bias if you're looking for acceptance, praise and adulation. For me....I would rather do what is right.

You don't even have to be part of an online forum (although I do recommend taking the time to read the articles and further educate yourself) in order to fight misandry. Start your own site, or your own blog, and wage your own war. Fight feminism in the home, at work, on the streets and amongst your peers. Speak out against hatred. Speak out each and every time you hear the common, readily accepted biases and slurs against men. Stand up in defense of such "antiquated notions" as honesty, virtue, marital fidelity, integrity, kindness and compassion. Condemn the feminist culture that encourages promiscuity, lasciviousness, cruelty, selfishness and a lack of accountability in women. Denounce double standards and biases in society and within our legal system. Stand up in support of a father's right to parent his children and censure those who would suggest a father is anything less than integral in the lives of his children. Deprecate each and every incidence of violence, dishonesty, cruelty and evil on the part of women and demand that they be held accountable for their actions.

What difference does it make if you don't like someone on a forum? You shouldn't be doing this for them...at least not on an individual level. You should be doing it for your fathers and for their fathers...for the countless, nameless, forgotten men upon whose backs our society was built. You should be doing it for your brothers and your husbands whom you love and for your sons whose job it is for you to protect. You should be doing it for society and humanity and you should even be doing it for yourself because, as bad as it is to live in a world decayed by a corrupting evil....to live in such a world and have done NOTHING is inexcusable.

Ultimately, the reason to do what is right is simply because it is the right thing to do.

You may not be able to change the world, but you can make a difference in the lives of those around you. There are so many ways to help. A few additional things that I do and recommend;

-Organize a coat drive in your area and collect coats for the homeless (the vast majority of which are men).
-Suggest doing an "angel tree" at your work or church for the local VA Homes and hospitals (for anyone who is unfamiliar with angel trees, they are Christmas trees whose sole ornaments are comprised of paper angels with a 'wish list' for different individuals. People can pick an angel off the tree and purchase the things on the list. I've done this for veterans, elderly in retirement homes, the homeless and impoverished children, and it is always my family's favorite part of Christmas).
-Find like minded individuals and together start a letter writing campaign protesting misandry in our media and legal system.

This is what integrity is. It is deciding what is right and standing up for it no matter what.

*I started this post about a month ago (it's been sitting with plenty of company in the dusty archives of Kim's uncompleted posts) and was reminded of it when I read Hestia's recent blog post 'The Place Women for in the MRM'. I would recommend reading it as she adds additional insight and ideas on activism.

Happy Father's Day!

I apologize that this is a little late....I've been busy celebrating all the wonderful fathers in my own life. I'd be remiss though, if I didn't take a moment to say happy Father's Day to fathers everywhere.

A child needs a father like a fish needs water....we all need our fathers.

A few of my favorite quotes on fathers.


He didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it. -Clarence Budington Kelland


My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard. Mother would come out and say, "You're tearing up the grass." "We're not raising grass," Dad would reply. "We're raising boys." -Harmon Killebrew

When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years. -Mark Twain

Workplace Illogic

My husband related an incident to me recently. I'm sure similar scenarios are played out in workplaces across America on a daily basis. I'm sure that anyone reading this will be able to think of an almost mirror occurrence they've seen, experienced or heard about.

A woman at his work has a penchant for wearing low, cleavage revealing tops and short, tight skirts. She makes a habit of leaning forward while wearing said shirts to give her audience (when male and attractive) a full display of her assets.

Some men at his workplace take full advantage of this show (and why not....if she's putting it out there for everyone to see). Other men (especially those in management positions, like my husband) work really hard to avoid looking at her at all....as, instead of female assets, all they tend to see is sexual harassment suits on the horizon.

All of management is made to tiptoe around her....because you can't ever say anything about a woman's right to flaunt her sexuality. Of course, smelly guy gets told (as nicely as possible) that he needs to bath more frequently, and the the man who likes to take his shoes off is asked to keep then on while at work because it's inappropriate and unhygienic......

Recently, the young woman in question came to human resources with (surprise, surprise) a complaint of sexual harassment. Allegedly, she was walking by one of the men that work there and he bent down to get a better view of what she was displaying in her miniskirt (according to the guy, he was bending down to pick up something he dropped and didn't even realize she was there).

Now, I don't know if the man was guilty of intentional ogling. Even if he was....can we really blame him? As I told my husband, her problem wasn't that she was being ogled (that was her intention) it was who was doing the ogling. HE wasn't the kind of guy she wanted noticing her barely concealed assets. Now, the three or four guys she finds attractive that convene around her desk daily for their own little work time show....she has no problem with. In fact, she revels in their attention. The poor man she finds unworthy of her immodest display...he's some creepy guy that "really made her uncomfortable" and makes her feel like she's working in a "hostile environment".

In a more logical world, human resources would have been able to laugh away her allegations, citing cause and effect. They would have been able to point out the obvious....that if you're going to put it all out there on display....don't be offended when people notice. In today's world of illogic and double standards, the man was given an official warning and put on probation. Incidentally, the woman in question, despite feeling so uncomfortable and violated, continues to dress exactly as she did before.

False Rape Strike Force

My attention has been called to a blog formed from a collaboration of admirable and prominent voices within the MRM....Archivist, Dr. Snark, Fidelbogen and E. Steven Berkimer. Please check in frequently at their False Rape Strike Force blog, keeping an eye out for activism opportunities on the horizon.

http://littlewhiterapelies.blogspot.com/

Mary Winkler....Survivor and Heroine

Kim Essex from Waff News has taken the time to update us on the latest in Mary Winkler's life. In case you've somehow remained unaware of the despicable exploits of Ms. Winkler or simply need a refresher, see here;

http://equalbutdifferent.blogspot.com/2008/08/mary-winkler-gets-custody.html


Some highlights from the Waff article;

The Tennessee woman convicted of killing her minister husband with a shotgun blast to the back is speaking about her new life and raising her girls.

Mary Winkler has come a long way from being the frail and timid preacher's wife who took the stand in her own defense.

Please note the shameful attempt to turn Ms. Winkler into both victim and heroine.

Ms. Winkler's come a long way.
'
Having overcome horrific abuse at the hands of her husband (like being asked to wear red, high heels during sex...the horror! the horror!), she's no longer the oppressed, "frail", "timid" woman she once was....now she's strong and empowered.

Having successfully gotten away with murder....she's an inspiration to us all.

The jury found Mary Winkler guilty of voluntary manslaughter for the shooting death. She's served her time and successfully won back custody of her three daughters from her dead husband's parents.

Served her time? Well, yes, I suppose if five months in county jail and two months in a mental health facility qualifies as "time served" for the crime of cold-blooded murder....

Now she's revealing a new secret about her life. It's a whole different world these days for Mary Winkler.

She's renting a home in Smithville, Tennessee and raising her three daughters.

"This is wonderful, just having the land. And the girls will get out in there and will run and they enjoy that," said Winkler of her daughters, Patricia, Ally, and Brianna.

Winkler says they're always looking to pitch in around the house.

"They understand they need to do a little bit more around the house, they need to help out and they've done a great job," said Winkler.

How wonderful for Ms. Winkler...how sweet and precious this description of motherhood, family and domestic bliss. Are we expected to forget that the reason the girls need to "do a little bit more around the house" is because she shot their father in the back and left him there to die? Does she forget? Is she even cognizant of how disturbing her lack of remorse or recognition of her crimes is?

Yes, how wonderful, Ms. Winkler, that you are able to enjoy your life with your daughters. Too bad their father lies rotting in the ground where you put him. How do you explain that to your daughters? Oh, yes, I forgot...you're the victim. He was abusive. He got mad when you financially ruined the family by getting involved in 'The Nigerian Scam' money swindle...and, of course, we can't forget those red high heels. Surely, he deserved to die.

Winkler says she needs that help now that she is dealing with a new obstacle in her life. She's been diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. "It was such a scary time. At one point we thought I had a stroke just because the disabilities were on the right side of my body," she explained.

The diagnosis threw Winkler for a loop just when she thought her life was beginning to settle down.

If there is any karmic justice in this life or the next...MS will be among the least of Ms. Winkler's concerns.

Winkler served less than 300 days behind bars and she also had to get mental health treatment.

With that past her, she focused on making a better life for her girls, going back to school and getting a job.

She says that goal seems much harder to reach now that she's been diagnosed with a disease that has no known cure.

"That" past her? Oh, you mean that little incident of her murdering her husband? Well, I suppose if one considers the brevity of her sentence, it really was just a minor inconvenience....a little hiccup in the road for Ms. Winkler.

As for the shotgun blast that day in march four years ago, Mary Winkler says she hopes her actions won't affect how people treat her girls.

"Whatever reason people have any problem with me, that's fine. Everybody's entitled to their opinion, but these girls are treated for who they are, not because of what their mother's done," said Winkler. "They're three very fine young ladies."

How convenient that Ms. Winkler chooses to represent the condemnation of cold-blooded murder as an "opinion". Once again, appallingly evident is that Ms. Winkler doesn't think she did anything wrong. My unmitigated horror and disgust at her actions are not a given...not a normal, expected reaction to what she's done...they're simply my "opinion".

As for her daughters....I agree. I do hope they aren't judged and made to suffer for their mother's crimes. Lord knows, they will suffer enough being raised by their sociopath mother, without the benefit of their father....whom she killed.

Here's the link to the article if you care to read it in its entirety.

http://www.waff.com/Global/story.asp?S=12548291

She's a Woman...So She Must Be the Victim

Hat tip to Outdoors at Antimisandry for the following....

Mother Charged in Deaths of Two Vancouver Infants

The news article tells of Vancouver mom, 24 year old Sarah Jee-Wah Leung, who has been charged with the murders of her two infant sons. The body of one was found a year ago in a plastic bag outside of Leung's home. Leung was questioned at the time and then released....allowing her to become pregnant again. The body of this newborn son was buried in a landfill.

Now, I could spend great lengths of time discussing failures on behalf of the legal system that allowed Ms. Leung the opportunity to murder a second baby, but that isn't the intent of this post. Nor is the intent to vilify mothers everywhere because of the actions of Ms. Leung. What I do want to address is the shocking comments from some concerning this woman's actions.

A few examples from the comments section,

If you impregnate a woman that child is your responsibility. If you think there is a chance that you could have impregnated a woman it is your responsibility to determine whether or not she is really pregnant with your child. If you do otherwise you are a deadbeat that is not taking responsibility for his actions It does have to involve both parties, a baby is made up of 2 people! Unless the father was unaware that he had a child with this woman then he should be charged!! Probably not with murder but with neglient of a child, and accomplice to a crime considering he should have been around taking care of his child to have known the mother's mental state! Both parties acted in a disgusting manner!

Charged with what, pray tell? Murder? A man, merely by fathering a child, should be held culpable for the mother's actions? Unlike the innocent babies she murdered, Ms. Leung is not a child. She is solely responsible for her actions. The father(s) who may not even be in Ms. Leung's life or aware that he is a father, bears no responsibility for the actions of Ms. Leung.

I would have thought that she'd receive therapy after the first event and be under some supervision. Failing that, where were the concerns of her neighbours? This location is one of the most culturally diverse in town, take care of one another!

Please notice how this commenter refers to murdering one's child, putting his body in a plastic bag and tossing it out in the yard as "the first event". This isn't a horrific evil act...it's just some little event that took place a year ago. Of course, the real issue is that the neighbors weren't around and helping poor Ms. Leung out. Surely they bear responsibility for the repeat of that first little mishap.

Where is the man who fathered the pregnancy?
Does he know that his babies were killed?
Tow of them should be proceeded to court charges. Not the mother only.
If they didn't try to act the mating themselves in the first place, there would be no such miserable mischief taking place.
Once they had held hand in hand doing the close intimacy, started from the inception moment, they didn't take the contraceptive precaution preparation, they should know there were chances to be getting pregnancy. But, unfortunately, they had missed it out the precaution taken before enjoying their desire of copulation. They have to pay for their irresponsibility.

More trying to redirect blame to the father.

There is also the possibility that this was the result of very serious, yet undiagnosed post-partum depression.

Can't forget the usual standby....postpartum depression.

It takes two to tango. No charges for the man who impregnated this woman?
Obviously, not all the story here.

There's more....but you get the gist. A woman has done something despicable and the first response by many is to find someone else to blame....because we all know that women are incapable of horrific acts and that evil is solely the realm of men. Surely it must be the fault of the father, the system, forces beyond her control or society in general.

I left the following comment on this article and encourage others to take the time to comment as well.

*Sigh* As usual, a woman is accused of committing a horrific crime and the apologists start coming out of the woodwork. Instead of frantically seeking for somewhere else to direct the blame, it's time to start holding women accountable for their actions. Two dead infants, seemingly at their mother's hands, and all some people can do is try to find somebody else to blame. 'Where is the father'....because surely we can assign some blame to him.

I wonder where the father is as well. Very possibly, the mother doesn't even know herself who the father(s) is. Very possibly, the man or men never even knew they were a father. Also possible, some poor guy is going to find out that the child he never knew he had was murdered at the hands of his mother. It's telling when the focus of two dead babies becomes who failed the mother and how.

What is painfully clear is the desperate attempt by the morally defunct to remove all accountability from women. I've seen discussions on children who commit murder that are far less forgiving toward the perpetrators then people often are toward women who commit similar crimes. I've often opined that feminism, despite all it's squawking about empowerment and equality, has been very effective in reducing women to the status of children. I'm starting to rethink this position. Lately, I've noticed that children are often held to a higher standard of accountability than women. We must not criticize, we must not condemn, we must never question....even if we're talking about something as horrific as the murder of infants.

The feminist hierarchy is very clearly set with women firmly at the top. The focus of this tragedy should be on the lost lives of these innocent babies. Where instead does it go? Upon the woman. Dead babies are all but forgotten in the desperate bid to free the mother from bearing the responsibility for and the consequences from her actions.

Anonymity For U.K. Men Accused of Rape

Apparently, there is actually the odd bout of common sense amid politicians in the U.K. The newly formed Lib/Con coalition published a government program containing a pledge that would grant men who are accused of rape the same anonymity that is allowed rape accusers in court (imagine that, innocent until proven guilty...what a novel idea).

Predictably, feminists are outraged at the concept of intrinsic human rights being extended to men as well as women, contending that such a move would A) imply that women are likely to lie about rape and B) even going so far as to suggest that victims of rape would be less likely to come forward if men were granted anonymity. How very typical of feminists to make this all about women. Why protect innocent men if there's the merest chance it may prove detrimental to the feminist agenda.

That the lives of men who are accused of rape are irrevocably damaged is a fact. Despite feminist attempts, there is no room for debate on the matter. The stigma that such an accusation carries is irrevocable. The accused will always live under a shadow of doubt. People will always wonder.....they will always suspect.

There are a myriad of tales of horror. Tales of men who lost their jobs, their families, who were savagely beaten, who were killed, who were falsely convicted and spent years in prison, who took their own lives....all due to false accusations. Unfortunately, in the public eye, any man accused of rape is guilty. There is no innocent until proven guilty. In the court of public opinion, an accusation is the equivalent of a conviction, regardless of what the court finds....regardless of whether or not the case ever even goes to trial.

Feminists would have us believe that the court system is failing women by the low number of rape convictions (I believe 6% in the U.K.). Feminists try to use this low figure to show bias against women in the court system. However, what feminists generally fail to point out is that of the rape accusations where there is sufficient evidence and cause to go to court, there is a conviction rate of nearly 60%. Bias? Well, yes....bias is alive and well within the court system but it isn't to the detriment of women. The bias lies in the way women are allowed to get away with a crime as heinous as falsely accusing a man of rape, with little to no repercussions.

Feminists would also have us believe that false rape accusations are an anomaly...too few and infrequent to be bear relevance. While I wish this were the case, the evidence suggests otherwise.

A study of rape allegations in Indiana over a nine-year period revealed that over 40% were shown to be false — not merely unproven. According to the author, “These false allegations appear to serve three major functions for the complainants: providing an alibi, seeking revenge, and obtaining sympathy and attention. False rape allegations are not the consequence of a gender-linked aberration, as frequently claimed, but reflect impulsive and desperate efforts to cope with personal and social stress situations.” ( Kanin EJ. Arch Sex Behav. 1994 Feb;23(1):81-92 False rape allegations. )

In 1985, a study of 556 rape allegations found that 27% accusers recanted when faced with a polygraph (which can be ordered in the military), and independent evaluation showed a false accusation rate of 60%. (McDowell, Charles P., Ph.D. “False Allegations.” Forensic Science Digest, (publication of the U.S. Air Force Office of Special Investigations), Vol. 11, No. 4 (December 1985), p. 64.)


http://www.billoblog.com/?p=134

Of course, even without a shred of supporting evidence....I would be skeptical of feminist claims. One need merely watch the nightly news to see the disturbing trend of false rape allegations and the corresponding lack of conscience they imply.

I will hope this measure is simply the first step in a chain of such measures. I will hope that after U.K. men who have been accused of rape are granted anonymity, they will move on to measures to adequately address the growing number of false rape accusations. I will hope that we will eventually see a day where false rape accusers are given the same sentences they were willing to subject their victims to and I will hope they serve every bit as much time in jail for their despicable crimes. Additionally, I will hope that politicians in the U.S. will emulate their counterparts in the U.K., dredging up their own bit of common sense and putting an end to the atrocities currently going on in our court system.

I would encourage everyone to write your representatives in Congress, praising the combined efforts in the U.K. and demanding that we in the U.S. implement similar measures.


The False Rape Society has two posts concerning opposition to the U.K. anonymity measure.

A Call To Arms

Refutation of Motion Opposing Anonymity

Be sure to check out both links and take advantage of activism opportunities to speak out in support of anonymity for men accused of rape.