http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1260412/How-does-wife-cope-husband-terribly-injured-war-Sue--walked-away.html
Long story short....Sue Norton tells of how hard it was on her to have her husband, Capt. Peter Norman, lose an arm and a leg and the overwhelming experience of being expected to help and care for him...so overwhelming that she decided to leave him because of it.
I had planned on writing at length about this article, but, due to my usual time constraints and plethora of other obligations, I will, instead, post the comment I left at The Spearhead, responding to the following,
Both men and women do terrible things to each other. They betray, abandon,neglect and abuse. Honestly, I don’t think either sex beats the other when it comes to treating spouses like garbage. However, when men do something horrible, they are usually contrite. Often, they take the blame. In fact, in many cases men will take the blame even when they weren’t at fault.
It would have been preferable if Sue Norton had simply not taken blame in this situation. Instead, she made an unconscionable and flagrant attempt to garner sympathy for herself at the expense of her husband. How nice it must be for Mr. Norton to have it aired to the world what a horrific and trying ordeal it was for his wife to have to care for him. I wonder if Sue Norton bothered to think of that. Oh well, the man’s already lost an arm and a leg….what’s a bit more of his pride.
I find the comments applauding Ms. Norton for her honesty particularly offensive. While I am a huge proponant of honesty….it is commendable when it denotes bravery or integrity. Sue Norton’s selfish bid for sympathy has nothing to do with bravery or integrity.
Sympathy? I have it in truckloads for her husband and those two little boys. As for Sue Norton….had she stood by her husband, been his support and emotional rock in what must have been the most devastating experience of his life, had she done everything in her power to hold her family together….she would have my respect and admiration. Even then, that is simply what she should have done.
I also left a comment on the Dailymail article....it has yet to appear. Although, I do wonder whether they don't post comments over the weekend. That said, I encourage everyone to take the time to post on this article. It would be particularly nice to see some support of Pete Norton, someone who deserves, not only our compassion, but our admiration.
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3 comments:
Born in 1942, I grew up thinking as most boys of my generation did, that women were some sort of saints, who were incapable of doing wrong. Therefore when a couple had problems, it was obvious it was the man's problem.
I had it beat out of me in 1964. I went to the courthouse to be conscripted. Other men were going at the same time. Their girlfriends cried, and promised to wait forever.
Alas, in the several days it took us to get to Ft. Leonard Wood and get to our training units, most of them had Dear John letters waiting for them. Those sweet, little honeys went directly home from the courthouse, the goodbye tears not yet dried on their cheeks, and wrote him a letter, telling him to go pound sand.
These guys got these letters right during the hardest time, when just entering the Army, their lives turned upside down. A few months later, after they adapted to military life, they would have had more personal stability and while it would still have been hard, it would have been less harsh.
Later, near the end of my two years, another man got a letter from his Dear John Queen, telling him she was sorry, she realized he was a good man, and apologizing, and asking if he would forgive her and they could take up where they left off. He asked our opinion.
We unanimously agreed she hadn't found a sucker, er, I mean husband, yet, and so was hoping to grab him before anyone else did, and that she had proved she was no good. He laughed and said that was how he had it figured, but wanted to ask our opinion just in case.
So, I am not surprised when a woman takes a man's military pay, has his babies, and when he gets wounded, whines and feels sorry for herself, and dumps him. I am more surprised when a woman sticks with a wounded man. I bet this sweetie happily gets part of his disability pay as child support.
I did a lot of counseling of divorced men, 1984 till 1993. While I personally do not know men who served in Desert Storm, I know well the odds that many men who went over have to this day to see again their babies, now grown up adults. Yet, they have been ordered to send money in the mail all these years.
I do not recommend men marry American women. We know there are good women, not a lot, but some excellent women. There are two problems with this.
First, most good women marry young, and stay married, so they aren't available.
Second, we men simply can't tell the difference until it is too late. As MarkyMark says, the good women are not able to do enough to let us know the difference.
I certainly do not want to imply there are no bad women here in Mexico. The difference here is adulterous women are not given the house; the kids; the car; alimony; and child support, and that is a totally different world.
Anonymous age 67
I don't have anything to add, there isn't much I could add, but a good posting like this should not continue with no response from anyone.
Anonymous age 67
Oh that poor man :(
Jennifer
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