The truth is the only thing worth having, and, in a civilized life, like ours, where so many risks are removed, facing it is almost the only courageous thing left to do. ~E.V. Lucas
I recently witnessed a conversation between men concerning a code for men; a standard of values and behavior that they believed were worth following and adhering to. Of course, we're all familiar with the traditional code of chivalry, but these men were looking to define something far different than gallant behavior towards women. They wanted to outline a code of honorable behavior among men for themselves.....for their own growth and personal betterment. It was mentioned in the course of this discussion that I should consider writing about a code for women.
Now, before anyone asks who put me in charge to dictate the behavior of women everywhere, I must submit that truths are universal. Regardless of how we choose to live our lives, right and wrong remain fairly static. Additionally, I firmly believe that religion has no claim or monopoly upon morality. Any human being is capable of honing a conscience, regardless of that person's beliefs.
That said, I decided to ponder the concept of a code for women. While, in the past, there never was a named code with specific, written rules, there were generally accepted standards of behavior. Of course, these standards have all been labeled misogyny and oppression under feminism so any semblance of a code that women may have traditionally adhered to has since fallen by the wayside.
To begin with, I decided to look at women in modern society and determine if a code did, indeed, already exist to any significant degree and if so, what it was. To do so, I needed to look at the behaviors which are applauded and encouraged in women and, what better way than to delve into the 'you go girl' phenomena; to determine when "you go girl" generally applies. I've found the most common instances to be when,
a. A woman is physically or verbally abusive to a man.
b. When a woman behaves in a ruthless or aggressive manner.
Of course, there are other occasions apparently deserving of a "you go girl" and they generally include phrases such as "it's my body" or "men have been doing it for years" and are typically followed by some form of selfish or unconscionable act.
Based upon my observations, I would suggest that a code does exist for women but it is one that encourages them to behave selfishly, coldly and immorally. It's a code that applauds narcissism, misandry, immorality and violence.
Despite a myriad of allegations to the contrary....I am a woman who happens to think women are wonderful; or at least equipped with the propensity to be wonderful. It saddens me to see women encouraged and applauded to be so very little of what they could be. Therefore, I am going to submit a code for women.
Considering what's currently encouraged in female behavior, I'm afraid this will take much longer than a single blog post, so I'll be doing this in parts. The first aspect of this code is Honesty.
Honesty is a word everyone knows but few seem to understand. Honesty goes beyond simply not committing theft or fraudulent activities. It's more than returning a wallet you find on the ground or not cheating on an exam or your taxes. While it's imperative that we be honest with others, it's of even greater importance that we are honest with ourselves.
Being honest with oneself is at the heart of integrity. It means that we make no excuses for ourselves or our behavior. It means that we don't alter our moral parameters in order to accommodate our situation or actions. Honesty is being able to admit we are wrong without making excuses for our errors. It's the willingness to take an unflinchingly clear and often painful and uncomfortable look at ourselves..
This is the type of honesty I see women struggle with the most. It's an intellectual dishonesty where they are willing to redefine morality and skew reality in order to accommodate their behaviors. This dishonesty is so prevalent that it's used in even the most abhorrent of circumstances.
Women have extended this dishonesty beyond themselves to encompass the whole. Even when women commit the most unthinkable and vilest of acts, there is an obscene attempt to soften our view of those women. Murder, abuse, infanticide, infidelity......regardless of how evil the act, an effort is generally made to alter morality and make excuses for the women who commit them. This dishonesty is then compounded when, instead of being labeled the atrocious falsehood that it is, it is called kindness and empathy.
I chose honesty first because it is a fundamental aspect of a person's positive progression. Without honesty, it is impossible to further our personal growth or our development of character. While not always easy, it is imperative that we learn to be uncompromisingly honest with ourselves. It is through such honesty that we are able to change and grow, without this ability, we are suspended in a childlike state where there can be no improvement or progression.