You'll have to forgive me while I wax religious on you for a moment....what can I say, it's Sunday and I spent three hours in church today.
This is a quote from a woman in my church that I recieved in a handout today.
"The world has enough women who are tough; we need women who are tender. There are enough women who are coarse; we need women who are kind. . . . We have enough women of fame and fortune; we need more women of faith."
Reading it, it got me thinking about todays call for women to be strong and empowered. It's funny how strength in a woman has become synonymous with being vicious, heartless and self-centered.
I've known many strong women in my life....I happen to come from a fairly long line of strong women.
They showed courage and fortitude, they worked alongside their husbands and did whatever was necessary to keep their families alive and together. They didn't understand words like "quit" or "give up". They had enormous integrity and a certain gentle greatness of spirit.
They were kind, charitable and humble. They were strong.
Every time I see a woman express admiration for another woman who's greatest achievement has been to prove herself capable of behaving abominably towards men and everyone else around her, I feel a little insulted on the behalf of the strong women I've known. I always ask, "Why do you admire her? She's proven that she's not a very nice person." The response is generally something along the lines of, "I know, but I just love her strength."
It doesn't take strength to follow in the ways of the world. There is no strength in abandoning one's marriage or embracing the convenient morality so prominant in today's society.
Maligning or being cruel to one's husband is not strong. Using a lot of 4 letter words, being sexually promiscuous, or mocking and villifying men are not displays of strength.
Anybody can be cruel, anybody can be dishonest, selfish, materialistic or petty. Strength is being honest even when you know that nobody else is. It's being kind and gentle in a world that encourages you to be anything but. Strength is having the courage to do what's right when the rest of the world mocks you and says it's wrong.
There's a lady I know who I admire greatly. She and her husband did an admirable job raising 9 children together. They recently celebrated their 55th wedding anniversary. Every morning I see them taking a walk together, hand in hand. When her husband had health issues, she, with the help of their nine children, nursed him back to health while running the family business together. Whenever somebody new moves into the neighborhood, she's there with a fresh baked loaf of bread welcoming them. Whenever somebody dies, she brings over meals to the bereaved family members. I've never seen her without a kind word or a smile. She makes the lives of everybody she touches a little better and everybody who knows her loves her. Most relevant of all, her husband absolutely adores her. She is a strong woman.
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Sunday, September 14, 2008
A Good Wife
Some years ago, when my husband and I lived in California, I became acquainted with a Pakistani woman. She was my mother-in-law's neighbor. Her and her husband had two kids and she babysat a few young children in her home during the day while her husband was at work.
One day when I was visiting with her, she related to me some problems she was having with one of the children's mothers not paying her and constantly being late to pick up her child. She told me it was very important to her to take care of the situation herself and not bother her husband with the matter because she wanted him to be proud of her.
She continued on in that vein a little further, explaining that there were certain things that were her duties and she made sure that those things were always done so that her husband wasn't unnecessarily burdened with having to handle not only his duties but hers as well.
Being me, I wasn't inordinately surprised by this conversation. Although it wasn't the kind of talk one often heard, I was not a stranger to the need to be dependable. Personally, I found it rather touching and refreshing.
I think of this conversation now and imagine the reception it would get from many women. I'm sure the responses would range from outrage to disgust....she would be a victim and her husband, an evil, controlling advancer of patriarchal oppression.
The thing is, it didn't have anything to do with oppression. She wasn't scared or worried about his reaction. It wasn't about him or his demands. It was about HER and the demands that she placed upon herself; her wanting to do a good job at the duties she'd undertaken within their marriage and wanting him to be proud of the job she did.
I think it's wonderful that she should want her husband to be proud of her. Nowadays, however, the concept of a wife being someone her husband can be proud of; being a "good wife", is synonymous with male oppression.....and I'm not quite sure how that translates.
The funny thing is, nobody seems to have a problem with a wife wanting to be proud of her husband. He should aspire to be the very best husband and father he can be which, often, isn't even enough.
Why should a wife aspiring to be a good wife and a good mother equal oppression while a husband doing the same thing means 'being a man'? Why are we not allowed to expect anything from women? Any expectations placed upon women are immediately classified as oppression.
A husband who dares expect his wife to behave in any certain fashion, or accomplish any given thing is a sexist, controlling pig, while there is absolutely nothing wrong with a woman expecting her husband to do any myriad of things from providing for the family to behaving in a precise, predetermined manner. In fact, not only is it o.k. for the woman to have such expectations, but she is often portrayed as long-suffering while doing so.
It shouldn't take much imagination to picture the poor wife, rolling her eyes and sighing while trying to transform her husband from the inadequate, overgrown child she married into the perfect man he ought to be. THAT is an image so customary and expected in today's society that most people don't even think to question it.
However, imagine the same portrayal reversed. Imagine the dignified, intelligent husband rolling his eyes and sighing while he tries to transform his thoroughly inadequate wife into what a woman should really be. HOW DARE HE!
Personally, aside from being an all around good person, there's little I desire more than to be a good wife and good mother....someone that my husband can be proud of.
One day when I was visiting with her, she related to me some problems she was having with one of the children's mothers not paying her and constantly being late to pick up her child. She told me it was very important to her to take care of the situation herself and not bother her husband with the matter because she wanted him to be proud of her.
She continued on in that vein a little further, explaining that there were certain things that were her duties and she made sure that those things were always done so that her husband wasn't unnecessarily burdened with having to handle not only his duties but hers as well.
Being me, I wasn't inordinately surprised by this conversation. Although it wasn't the kind of talk one often heard, I was not a stranger to the need to be dependable. Personally, I found it rather touching and refreshing.
I think of this conversation now and imagine the reception it would get from many women. I'm sure the responses would range from outrage to disgust....she would be a victim and her husband, an evil, controlling advancer of patriarchal oppression.
The thing is, it didn't have anything to do with oppression. She wasn't scared or worried about his reaction. It wasn't about him or his demands. It was about HER and the demands that she placed upon herself; her wanting to do a good job at the duties she'd undertaken within their marriage and wanting him to be proud of the job she did.
I think it's wonderful that she should want her husband to be proud of her. Nowadays, however, the concept of a wife being someone her husband can be proud of; being a "good wife", is synonymous with male oppression.....and I'm not quite sure how that translates.
The funny thing is, nobody seems to have a problem with a wife wanting to be proud of her husband. He should aspire to be the very best husband and father he can be which, often, isn't even enough.
Why should a wife aspiring to be a good wife and a good mother equal oppression while a husband doing the same thing means 'being a man'? Why are we not allowed to expect anything from women? Any expectations placed upon women are immediately classified as oppression.
A husband who dares expect his wife to behave in any certain fashion, or accomplish any given thing is a sexist, controlling pig, while there is absolutely nothing wrong with a woman expecting her husband to do any myriad of things from providing for the family to behaving in a precise, predetermined manner. In fact, not only is it o.k. for the woman to have such expectations, but she is often portrayed as long-suffering while doing so.
It shouldn't take much imagination to picture the poor wife, rolling her eyes and sighing while trying to transform her husband from the inadequate, overgrown child she married into the perfect man he ought to be. THAT is an image so customary and expected in today's society that most people don't even think to question it.
However, imagine the same portrayal reversed. Imagine the dignified, intelligent husband rolling his eyes and sighing while he tries to transform his thoroughly inadequate wife into what a woman should really be. HOW DARE HE!
Personally, aside from being an all around good person, there's little I desire more than to be a good wife and good mother....someone that my husband can be proud of.
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Nothing Is Sacred To Feminists
I was browing a feminist website the other day......I don't even recall precisely what it was I was looking for. Skimming through the articles, I noticed a comment directed toward John McCain. The comment, dripping with irreverant sarcasm, went something along the lines of, "You're a P.O.W. John??? Oh my goodness....why didn't you say so???" The author then went on to mock McCain's references to the years he spent as prisoner of war in North Vietnam.
I imagine this is the reason I can't visit a feminist site without coming away with a slightly nauseous feeling, like I've been exposed to something especially repugnant. They hold nothing sacred, not religion, not the lives of unborn children, the lives (or deaths) of men; not motherhood, fatherhood, or marriage. Not even the 5 1/2 years a man spent being tortured in a prison camp.
Overwhelmingly, odds are the woman who mocked McCain will never, EVER be in a position to make such an extraordinary sacrifice. I'll never be in such a position.....but at least I have an appreciation for the enormous amount of character it took for a man to be offered the chance to leave and refuse because other men had been there longer. That someone would mock such a man; would mock such a sacrifice is chilling. Come to think of it.....I find a lot of things chilling on feminist sites. They seem to have abandoned all positive attributes such as kindness, compassion and empathy in exchange for "empowerment". Of course, to me, empowerment looks increasingly like jaded and angry bitterness.
The more I visit feminist websites, the more convinced I become that there is only one thing they care about....the feminist agenda. They don't care about women. What's best for women, what women want.....if these things should at any time be in opposition with the feminist agenda, then they are rabidly attacked. McCain's pick for VP is a stellar example of this.
The assaults on Sarah Palin and her family have been incredibly ugly and vicious. I find it reprehensible.....unfortunately, such is the nature of American politics and I wouldn't expect it to be much different for Gov. Palin. What I do find interesting is that some of the most venomous attacks have come from feminists.
Watching the Republican National Convention tonight, I thought Sean Hannity stated it quite well. He made a comment that feminist groups don't really care about women, they only care about liberal women who promote their agenda. Very astute observation, in my opinion.
I don't know that McCain will make a great president and I would hesitate to say that his P.O.W. experience qualifies him to run a country. What I do know is that he was tested in a manner that few of us will ever be tested, and he proved himself to be a man of enormous courage and integrity......a true hero, who deserves our admiration and respect, not mockery and scorn.
I imagine this is the reason I can't visit a feminist site without coming away with a slightly nauseous feeling, like I've been exposed to something especially repugnant. They hold nothing sacred, not religion, not the lives of unborn children, the lives (or deaths) of men; not motherhood, fatherhood, or marriage. Not even the 5 1/2 years a man spent being tortured in a prison camp.
Overwhelmingly, odds are the woman who mocked McCain will never, EVER be in a position to make such an extraordinary sacrifice. I'll never be in such a position.....but at least I have an appreciation for the enormous amount of character it took for a man to be offered the chance to leave and refuse because other men had been there longer. That someone would mock such a man; would mock such a sacrifice is chilling. Come to think of it.....I find a lot of things chilling on feminist sites. They seem to have abandoned all positive attributes such as kindness, compassion and empathy in exchange for "empowerment". Of course, to me, empowerment looks increasingly like jaded and angry bitterness.
The more I visit feminist websites, the more convinced I become that there is only one thing they care about....the feminist agenda. They don't care about women. What's best for women, what women want.....if these things should at any time be in opposition with the feminist agenda, then they are rabidly attacked. McCain's pick for VP is a stellar example of this.
The assaults on Sarah Palin and her family have been incredibly ugly and vicious. I find it reprehensible.....unfortunately, such is the nature of American politics and I wouldn't expect it to be much different for Gov. Palin. What I do find interesting is that some of the most venomous attacks have come from feminists.
Watching the Republican National Convention tonight, I thought Sean Hannity stated it quite well. He made a comment that feminist groups don't really care about women, they only care about liberal women who promote their agenda. Very astute observation, in my opinion.
I don't know that McCain will make a great president and I would hesitate to say that his P.O.W. experience qualifies him to run a country. What I do know is that he was tested in a manner that few of us will ever be tested, and he proved himself to be a man of enormous courage and integrity......a true hero, who deserves our admiration and respect, not mockery and scorn.
Monday, September 1, 2008
And Yet Another False Rape Accusation.....
Honestly, there's getting to be so many of these that I have to pick and choose which ones I'm going to post on.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1039281/Wicked-woman-ruined-marriage-crying-rape-jailed-months.html
'Wicked' woman who ruined a marriage by crying rape jailed for four
months
By Andy Dolan
Last updated at 1:32 AM on 29th July 2008
Posed by model: A woman who cried rape has been jailed for four
months
A woman whose false rape allegation led to the collapse of her
victim’s marriage has been jailed for four months after a judge branded her
‘wicked’.
Tracey Winfield, 21, claimed she had been held down in a park by
her former boyfriend Richard Peacock while his friend Dean Frasier raped her.
As a result of her allegations – delivered in a detailed,
seven-page statement – the men were arrested and held in police cells for 17 and
a half hours.
The pair, both innocent, were forced to undergo medical
examinations and give intimate samples before being released on bail.
Their ordeals ended only when Winfield walked into a police station
in Grantham, Lincolnshire five days later and confessed the incident never took
place.
Mr Frasier was so distraught over her claims he contemplated
suicide, Lincoln Crown Court heard.
Jailing her yesterday, Recorder Christopher Donnellan said
Winfield’s lies had damaged the chances of securing convictions in genuine rape
cases.
Simon Rowe, prosecuting, said Winfield initially phoned officers to
say she had been attacked in Wymondham Park, close to the centre of Grantham.
The men were arrested in the early hours of the morning and
interviewed twice before eventually being released.
Mr Rowe said both suffered as a result of the lie, adding that for
Mr Frasier: ‘It was the last straw in his relationship with his wife.’
He said: ‘Such was his concern that he spent money on taking a
polygraph test to try to prove his innocence.
‘He says Miss Winfield has ruined his life.’
Mr Rowe said Winfield and Mr Peacock had a troubled three-year
relationship, and she had made 14 allegations to police about him.
Most of these were not taken further - although Mr Peacock was
twice convicted of public order offences in 2006 as a result of them.
Winfield, from Grantham, admitted a charge of carrying out an act
intending to pervert the course of justice in April this year.
Gordon Aspden, defending, told the court she had been drinking when
she made the allegation and now realised it was a ‘monumental error of
judgment’.
Winfield sobbed in the dock as Mr Donnellan told her: ‘What you did
was wicked. It was not a spur-of-the-moment action that you did not go through
with.
‘Mr Frasier had his life ruined. Whatever relationship he had with
his wife may have been able to be saved, but what you did made sure it was not,’
he added.
The case came weeks after the Association of Chief Police Officers
called for the introduction of specialist squads to investigate rapes in every
UK force in a bid to drive up conviction rates.
Less than 6 per cent of reported rapes result in a conviction in
England and Wales – and just 15 per cent of victims are said to report incidents
in the first place, according to the British Crime Survey.
Mr Donnellan suggested false allegations such as Winfield’s served
only to spread even more doubt among jurors.
Earlier this month, a Royal Navy Wren was also convicted of making
a false rape claim against a former lover.
Portsmouth Crown Court heard that communications officer Erin
Casson, 27, met Petty Officer Brian Eaton for sex three months after they broke
up, but then told another man she had been raped.
A jury took less than an hour to find Casson, of Porchester,
Hampshire, guilty of perverting the course of justice.
She faces jail when she is sentenced next
month.
One of the things that bothers me the most (aside from the total lack of honesty, empathy or morals on the part of the accuser) is the 4 months jail sentence. I know, some would suggest that at least this is a step forward from the absolute lack of any form of punishment that we usually see, but, still.....4 months??
Ms. Winfield has effectively ruined lives. One of these men contemplated killing himself. If he had, Ms. Winfield would, in my opinion, be responsible for his death; a murderer, for all accounts and purposes. Is a 4 months jail sentence sufficient for attempted murder? Call me overly dramatic, but really, is that so far-fetched? She could have been responsible for a man's death; she IS responsible for irreparable damage to the lives of two men, so, once again I ask......is 4 months really adequate?
Of course, when one considers the 12 days Mary Winkler had to serve after murdering her husband.....I'm sure 4 months sounds downright cruel and unusual, but when you consider the damage done by Ms. Winfield's actions......I would have to argue that the punishment most assuredly does NOT fit the crime.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1039281/Wicked-woman-ruined-marriage-crying-rape-jailed-months.html
'Wicked' woman who ruined a marriage by crying rape jailed for four
months
By Andy Dolan
Last updated at 1:32 AM on 29th July 2008
Posed by model: A woman who cried rape has been jailed for four
months
A woman whose false rape allegation led to the collapse of her
victim’s marriage has been jailed for four months after a judge branded her
‘wicked’.
Tracey Winfield, 21, claimed she had been held down in a park by
her former boyfriend Richard Peacock while his friend Dean Frasier raped her.
As a result of her allegations – delivered in a detailed,
seven-page statement – the men were arrested and held in police cells for 17 and
a half hours.
The pair, both innocent, were forced to undergo medical
examinations and give intimate samples before being released on bail.
Their ordeals ended only when Winfield walked into a police station
in Grantham, Lincolnshire five days later and confessed the incident never took
place.
Mr Frasier was so distraught over her claims he contemplated
suicide, Lincoln Crown Court heard.
Jailing her yesterday, Recorder Christopher Donnellan said
Winfield’s lies had damaged the chances of securing convictions in genuine rape
cases.
Simon Rowe, prosecuting, said Winfield initially phoned officers to
say she had been attacked in Wymondham Park, close to the centre of Grantham.
The men were arrested in the early hours of the morning and
interviewed twice before eventually being released.
Mr Rowe said both suffered as a result of the lie, adding that for
Mr Frasier: ‘It was the last straw in his relationship with his wife.’
He said: ‘Such was his concern that he spent money on taking a
polygraph test to try to prove his innocence.
‘He says Miss Winfield has ruined his life.’
Mr Rowe said Winfield and Mr Peacock had a troubled three-year
relationship, and she had made 14 allegations to police about him.
Most of these were not taken further - although Mr Peacock was
twice convicted of public order offences in 2006 as a result of them.
Winfield, from Grantham, admitted a charge of carrying out an act
intending to pervert the course of justice in April this year.
Gordon Aspden, defending, told the court she had been drinking when
she made the allegation and now realised it was a ‘monumental error of
judgment’.
Winfield sobbed in the dock as Mr Donnellan told her: ‘What you did
was wicked. It was not a spur-of-the-moment action that you did not go through
with.
‘Mr Frasier had his life ruined. Whatever relationship he had with
his wife may have been able to be saved, but what you did made sure it was not,’
he added.
The case came weeks after the Association of Chief Police Officers
called for the introduction of specialist squads to investigate rapes in every
UK force in a bid to drive up conviction rates.
Less than 6 per cent of reported rapes result in a conviction in
England and Wales – and just 15 per cent of victims are said to report incidents
in the first place, according to the British Crime Survey.
Mr Donnellan suggested false allegations such as Winfield’s served
only to spread even more doubt among jurors.
Earlier this month, a Royal Navy Wren was also convicted of making
a false rape claim against a former lover.
Portsmouth Crown Court heard that communications officer Erin
Casson, 27, met Petty Officer Brian Eaton for sex three months after they broke
up, but then told another man she had been raped.
A jury took less than an hour to find Casson, of Porchester,
Hampshire, guilty of perverting the course of justice.
She faces jail when she is sentenced next
month.
One of the things that bothers me the most (aside from the total lack of honesty, empathy or morals on the part of the accuser) is the 4 months jail sentence. I know, some would suggest that at least this is a step forward from the absolute lack of any form of punishment that we usually see, but, still.....4 months??
Ms. Winfield has effectively ruined lives. One of these men contemplated killing himself. If he had, Ms. Winfield would, in my opinion, be responsible for his death; a murderer, for all accounts and purposes. Is a 4 months jail sentence sufficient for attempted murder? Call me overly dramatic, but really, is that so far-fetched? She could have been responsible for a man's death; she IS responsible for irreparable damage to the lives of two men, so, once again I ask......is 4 months really adequate?
Of course, when one considers the 12 days Mary Winkler had to serve after murdering her husband.....I'm sure 4 months sounds downright cruel and unusual, but when you consider the damage done by Ms. Winfield's actions......I would have to argue that the punishment most assuredly does NOT fit the crime.
Happy Belated Birthday.....
......to me! Well, not ME exactly, but my blog. I just realized that my blog was officially one year old on Aug. 5th. O.K., not a monumental achievement or anything, but the thing that really stuck out to me at the time is that Aug. 4th is my anniversary (we just celebrated 16 years) .
I honestly don't recall the series of events that transpired or the thought processes which led to me deciding to start my blog. However, as I was spurred to action the day after my anniversary, I can't help but think that there's a correlation between the two events.
I imagine that on my anniversary, a time when my husband and I celebrate our marriage and the love we have for one another, I found the ongoing attack against men in our society more offensive than usual and decided I was going to speak out against it.
I've always been something of an anti-feminist and, for several years now, I've been aware of the attack on men, fathers, families, boys and all things masculine. Of course, I've lived my life in a way that mirrored my beliefs and I've discussed with friends, family and acquaintances my feelings concerning misandry in society and the real agenda of feminism, but it was the day after my anniversary that I felt compelled to start doing something about it.
I imagine it's because of the examples of the men in our lives that women like myself feel the need to stand up against feminism. Feminism insults and maligns every man that we've ever known, be it our fathers, our brother, husbands, sons, or even strangers; unknown men who's lives have touched and bettered our own.
The first thing that opened my eyes to the reality of misandry in our society was (and I've spoken of this in past posts) a class I was taken on raising boys. The class specifically said that there was an attack on men and boys and that because of it, our boys were in serious trouble. It went on to list the ways that masculinity was being attacked, via media, by our laws and in our schools. It was a shocking moment of revelation for me, Kim, who had grown up in a conservative environment where husbands and fathers were loved and admirable, when I realized just how real the assault had become. I'd been raised that feminism was an assault on the family and that marriage and family was under attack, but this was the first time that I became aware of the way men, in particular, were being maligned and villified and I was disgusted, saddened and appalled.
All the above considered, I dedicate and attribute this blog, along with any and all activist efforts which I pursue, to my husband and to all the wonderful men I've known in my life, without whom I may never have been angered and disgusted to the point of pursuing it. I would also like to thank all of you who frequent or have even occassionally visited my blog, especially those who have added their voices....my blog has been greatly enhanced by the wisdom of many who have taken the time to comment.
I honestly don't recall the series of events that transpired or the thought processes which led to me deciding to start my blog. However, as I was spurred to action the day after my anniversary, I can't help but think that there's a correlation between the two events.
I imagine that on my anniversary, a time when my husband and I celebrate our marriage and the love we have for one another, I found the ongoing attack against men in our society more offensive than usual and decided I was going to speak out against it.
I've always been something of an anti-feminist and, for several years now, I've been aware of the attack on men, fathers, families, boys and all things masculine. Of course, I've lived my life in a way that mirrored my beliefs and I've discussed with friends, family and acquaintances my feelings concerning misandry in society and the real agenda of feminism, but it was the day after my anniversary that I felt compelled to start doing something about it.
I imagine it's because of the examples of the men in our lives that women like myself feel the need to stand up against feminism. Feminism insults and maligns every man that we've ever known, be it our fathers, our brother, husbands, sons, or even strangers; unknown men who's lives have touched and bettered our own.
The first thing that opened my eyes to the reality of misandry in our society was (and I've spoken of this in past posts) a class I was taken on raising boys. The class specifically said that there was an attack on men and boys and that because of it, our boys were in serious trouble. It went on to list the ways that masculinity was being attacked, via media, by our laws and in our schools. It was a shocking moment of revelation for me, Kim, who had grown up in a conservative environment where husbands and fathers were loved and admirable, when I realized just how real the assault had become. I'd been raised that feminism was an assault on the family and that marriage and family was under attack, but this was the first time that I became aware of the way men, in particular, were being maligned and villified and I was disgusted, saddened and appalled.
All the above considered, I dedicate and attribute this blog, along with any and all activist efforts which I pursue, to my husband and to all the wonderful men I've known in my life, without whom I may never have been angered and disgusted to the point of pursuing it. I would also like to thank all of you who frequent or have even occassionally visited my blog, especially those who have added their voices....my blog has been greatly enhanced by the wisdom of many who have taken the time to comment.
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