Just a quick bit of history.....I wrote this back when I first started my blog as something of an introduction and an explanation as to the purpose of my blog, but I was never quite happy with it. I was doing blog housecleaning today and decided to go ahead and post it.....even though I'm still not quite happy with it.
Imagine what must it be like to be a man in today's society.
I want everyone to take the time to ponder that.
What must it be like to be a little boy? An innocent, sweet child....so full of love and joy. Of course, that love and joy must fade into insecurity and self hatred when you go to school and are treated differently because you're a boy, when you're expected to behave differently, better, toward the little girls while they're allowed to treat you any way they choose and you must simply endure it because they are girls and you are a boy.
Imagine what it must be like to be a little boy who's father, his hero, is made to leave the home when Mommy files for divorce. You know that your father is who you're most like, the person you emulate and hope to grow up to be like.....the person Mommy has renamed *sshole, screams at on the phone and says horrible things about to her family and friends.
Imagine what it must be like to be that sweet, innocent boy and to be subjected to a constant stream of negative images and portrayals of men, knowing all the while that a man is precisely what you'll grow up to be.
Imagine what it must be like to be a teenage boy. You go to high school and college and all you see and hear are rape statistics and how boys and men are dangerous predators. The father you sorely need has been alienated from you for many years. He tried and tried but Mom made things as difficult as possible and now your relationship is awkward at best.
Imagine what it must be like to be a young man. All you want is to find that special girl to fall in love with, to marry and to start a family with, but even though you are a nice guy and have always tried to be a good person, every girl you meet assumes the worst of you. You want to fall in love, but you become more and more jaded as every relationship you have is with someone who is shallow, selfish, materialistic and narcissistic.
Imagine what it must be like to be a young man. You enlisted in the military. You did your duty to your country and served with honor. You watched those with whom you served, men you'd come to view as brothers, return home in coffins and sometimes you can't sleep at night because the things you bury away during the day come back to haunt you in your sleep. For your efforts, you have health problems that nobody cares about and hear that whatever happened to you and your brothers was your own fault....because you're men and, afterall, it's violent men who are the ones who start the wars.
Imagine what it must be like to be a man. You've given up on marriage, now that you're older, even if you found someone you wanted to spend your life with, you don't dare. You realize that the family court system is stacked against you and should your marriage not work out, you'll risk losing everything. You've given up on your dream of family and children because you don't want your son to ever go through what you went through. You're not a coward, but you've decided to fore go the joys of fatherhood because you think it will be easier never knowing such love than to know it and have it ripped away from you. For your efforts of self-preservation you are called a loser, a perpetual child; there must be something wrong with you, it just isn't normal.......
Or, perhaps, you did find that special someone and you decided it was worth the risk. You got married, you had children. You worked hard to provide the very best for your children. You wanted to spend as much time as possible with your family, but work requirements kept you away from home more than you liked. You told yourself it was o.k., a sacrifice you were willing to make in order to provide for your family. You wanted to give them all the things they told you they wanted and needed.....and then one day, your wife tells you she isn't happy, you work too much, you're always gone, you're not taking care of her emotional needs. All too quickly divorce papers are filed and since, according to the judge, you were not very involved in raising the children, you are relegated to the status of non-custodial parent. You now come home to an empty apartment, no more do you hear cries of 'Daddy' when you walk through the door or get to tuck somebody in at night. You see your kids when your ex-wife allows, when it's convenient for her and as long as you remain in her good graces.
Imagine what it must be like to be a man. You walk down the street, children avoid you and women watch you warily. Although the words are not vocalized, you can see the accusation written clearly in their eyes and on their faces.....rapist, pedophile, abuser. You know that all it takes is an allegation, a few words, and your life can be ruined, simply because you are a man.
Imagine must it be like to be a man......
In Search of Noah's Ark
7 hours ago
Posts
77 comments:
Sums it all !
How can a lesbian ex-friend of mine, say that, like all her "sisters", she's the real victim of society, while assuring me that I'm the most privileged of all, being a white heterosexual male ? She won't even debate over her endoctrinated point of view. She's so sure of her double superiority over man, as a women and as a lesbian, there's no use for me to take that path.
She owns the sole right to the victimhood, grabs the benefits of it and, I dare to say, don't give a damn about the other 50%.
Feminism deliberately destroyed the core of men. Logically, no wonder lesbianism is on the rise: these girls will consent to breed only with "superior" human beings: women.
Against all odds, we must RESPECT ourselves, for our own sake. Then, as educated conquerers of our souls, we'll surf the tide of renewed manhood.
Sadly Kim 50% of the world's population doesn't need to imagine...
Kim, you may not be happy completely but I'm about to re-post this on my own blog.
It's that good.
Kim,
I don't know what you were unhappy about with this; you NAILED it! As a man, I can sadly say that I EXPERIENCED almost all that you've written about too...
MarkyMark
I think I'll follow suit, and post it in my blog also...
I'm really glad you all like it so much.....and even gladder I didn't send it to the garbage bin. :-)
gladder? Gesh Kim!
:-)
TMOTS
UGH! You can see I spend the majority of my time around children......it actually didn't even SOUND wrong....especially scary considering I was an English major. LOL.
How dare you constantly treat women like man-hating predators? I have never seen women treat men the way you say they do; I have never seen men treated that way, or throw themselves the little pity parties you insist they should be thrown. You claim to see women as equal partners, but all I've ever seen you do is put down women and now, little girls? I can sympathize with certain treatments men receive, but all I've seen you do for any period of time is paint pictures of how bad women are. You speak as though all little girls are bullies, all wives are sots, all young women are shallow and vain. So what are you, Kim? A freak of nature because you're wise, smart, pitying towards men, unlike every other member of the female sex?
Oh yes anonymous, boo-hoo to those little strapping men. I suppose women just have it rich, do they? Of course men have their problems, which Kim has portrayed at the expense of all decent women, but you think women don't? Forget this country; how about the world in general? Which sex has to carry a gun more often because they'd otherwise lose in an attack? Which sex has to worry about going somewhere alone at night? Which sex has never been president? And which sex has always, always in every age been suppressed in one manner or another? Which one has been at the mercy of the other's rule for the majority of history? Which one is still dominated, abused, raped, and shot to death for the smallest infractions in other countries? Don't cry crocodile tears at me for the gender that, by and large, still rules the world.
Kim, I love men and think they're great. But your mass generalizations about women just sicken me.
@Anon
I'll ignore the personal attacks you've made but I will be happy to address the rest of your post.
If you've never seen women treat men in the fashions I mention then I can only submit that you haven't been paying attention. Go talk to a few men who've been through the family court system, who've had to fight tooth and nail for the basic right to see their own children. The things I intimate, they're not 'the world according to Kim'. How did I come by such information? Because I listened to men and what they were saying. I looked around in an unbiased fashion and paid a little bit of attention.
Now, you're completely flawed in your insinuations that I mass generalize about all women. I've made frequent mentions and several posts about the great women I know and have known. Some of the most wonderful people I've ever known have been women, just as some of them have been men. I would never consider insulting them in such a fashion as to suggest that women are horrible or evil and I've never intimated any such thing.
Your assertion that I'm somehow demonizing little girls is also incorrect. Little girls are not responsible for what adults do. Children will be children, it's adults that show bias that are at fault. If two children get in a fight and one is allowed to walk away and the other is punished based on gender, obviously that is not the fault of the child but of the adult who was in charge.
I've stated truths, truths about men and truths about women in our society. Nowhere have I ever said these truths are representative of all men or of all women. That, however, does not make them any less true. Unfortunately, these truths, of things many men really do face, are treated as inconsequential or, as you have done, as somehow being an affront to all women.
Why is it that it's o.k. to champion the causes of women but never of men? You are actually proving a point that I've made before. One of the reasons so many men are mad is that whenever they voice their pains or problems, they are met with exactly what you've just submitted two paragraphs of. Sometimes, it's mockery, other times scorn, but generally it's 'what about women and all they endure'? No care, no compassion, no attempt to understand....instead a display of anger and disgust.
We already know what women endure. There are many massive movements all geared toward the concerns of women. Concerns of women are valid, worthy....concerns of men, however, are apparently not of such worth. Domestic violence toward women is treated as it should be, something horrible and wrong. Domestic violence toward men is a joke and completely underreported because men know that they will be ridiculed and laughed at. I could present you a myriad of examples of the causes of men being ignored while the causes of women are validated but I wouldn't want to attempt to engage you in a "pity party".
Incidentally, addressing your assertions about throwing men pity parties....men don't want your pity, or mine. They want the world to recognize that they are more than a paycheck or someone to send off to war to die. They want recognition that they do matter, that fathers matter and just a little bit of validation for their cares or concerns. Sadly, for some, that appears to be too much to ask.
Sorry, anon, I didn't see your second comment until after I'd already replied to your first. You'll have to forgive me if I leave your initial comment...I'm a bit loathe to let all the time I spent replying go to waste.
As to your second comment, I have deleted it for personal attacks. Incidentally, to my knowledge (I am busy and admit to missing things here and there) the majority of men who comment on my blog are generally quite respectful in the posts they make and the language they use. I try to keep my blog around a 'PG' level. I've actually had more problems with women posters using vulgar language than men.
How dare you actually practice the art of respecting ALL humans Kim! Go dorrectly to the Kool-aide container and drink until you come to your senses!
TMOTS
Alot of what you said in this post really hits home for me at this time in my life.
"Imagine what it must be like to be a little boy who's father, his hero, is made to leave the home when Mommy files for divorce. You know that your father is who you're most like, the person you emulate and hope to grow up to be like.....the person Mommy has renamed *sshole, screams at on the phone and says horrible things about to her family and friends."
That's what my son is enduring right now.
"You now come home to an empty apartment, no more do you hear cries of 'Daddy' when you walk through the door or get to tuck somebody in at night. You see your kids when your ex-wife allows, when it's convenient for her and as long as you remain in her good graces."
The whole post applies in one shape form fasion or another to me, but these two things really tear at my heart because I'm actually going through it.
(Don't know if this posted. Sending again anyway)
Congratulations, Kim. You've driven that poster's potential arguments into the ground before you even started countering them. How, you ask? Because you drove them to personal attacks, meaning they had no actual argument to make.
*That* is what it means to truly succeed in a debate. Well done.
Anon has made another comment which she requests I not post. I will convey that she did apologize for being upset when she posted last night.
Anon has also repeated her request that I remove her initial post, as she has concerns about the type of responses she'll recieve to it.
I won't post the most recent comment but I am going to leave the first. I have a general policy of not deleting comments after the have been replied to as that becomes confusing to readers.
If the comment revealed something of the poster's identity or at any way compromised the poster, I would remove it. As it is, it's an anonymous post. As such, if the poster isn't interested in the responses to it, that is easily solved by not reading them.
However, I will reiterate that the people who post on my blog generally do so in a manner that is commendable. They present reasoned, intelligent responses and avoid ugly remarks and personal attacks, so I believe your fears are unfounded.
Cute, blayze, but my arguments were indeed made, in my first comment. I also made some in my second comment, which was private and to Kim. (Kim, sorry if this remark was already sent to you)
Actually, other anon, the basis for my first comment was that it did not seem like "all" human beings were being respected. Perhaps more careful reading next time?
Paul, I'm very sorry for your suffering. I'll keep you in my prayers.
Thank you, Kim.
Kim, if it's all right, I would like to publish one part of my unsubmitted comment regarding male problems. This is perhaps the one subject not touched upon in your original post: disrespect to men's bodies. Here are my thoughts (with additions):
I am not blind to men's problems either, however. One of the things that angers me most, in fact, is hearing that a man's modesty may be insulted, mocked, or disregarded, in a hospital or some other such way. I hate, more than anything else, seeing men groped by some thoughtless technician on a cheesy TV show, or worse, hearing that such a thing happened in real life. I've heard of some female medical folks acting like angels straight from hell, harming men's parts badly, humiliating them, and sometimes hurting them badly enough to cause pain later in life (one of these medical folks was a man, actually, but the majority were women). Have you ever seen the film "Duplex"? There's a scene where a female doctor, without warning, reaches between a man's legs and squishes his organs, hard. I threw a fit in front of my mother while watching that film, calling the doc all sorts of names, and pointing out that if it'd been a male doctor gripping a female patient's breasts, that scene would never have made it to the film. I genuinely don't like seeing men's parts being abused, especially by doctors or wives, as the case on TV usually is (weirdly enough, though, it's often men who find these scenes funny).
I have new appreciation for the old show, "The Honeymooners" now. The husband and wife have a mutual relationship, even in anger: the wife insults the husband, the husband threatens to punch her, and neither women nor men whine about abuse on the side of either spouse. That wouldn't happen with modern shows, if Raymond Barone happened to threaten to send Deborah "to the moon". If that ever happened, Ray would have to suck up in apologies for a week, while Deborah coldly refused him sex for months. And frighteningly, everyone would call her justified in doing so.
Thank you for this, Kim. I am glad there are women like you out there who actually care for us.
Even with the problems we face, I am still proud to be man, and I wouldn't want to be anything else. But, apparently in today's society, being proud to be a man is considered wrong.
I wouldn't worry too much about soldiers being forgotten, at least. I remember during elementary school, we had a retired veteran come in and teach us children about Veteran's Day. It was an awesome experience :)
As for our dear soldiers now, I hope Obama brings them home..safely.
Very nice text. I am from Europe, Germany and all of this (ok, our army is not that involved in wars.) is exactly what i know and feel about "beeing a man".
I am an man and i looses 5+ Years of climging out of the psychoterror agains man in school. "we are the evil" "our feelings and desires move us to rape women" and so on.
Do you know how much fear in boys hart is growing if the authorities (teacher..) ar saying that the desire for this nice human called woman is leading to torture them? I'd never wanted to torture this wonderfull woman, i just wanted to touch them and feel. But after a couple of years the desire starts to hurt. And some years later i did not remember why i "can't" trust my own desires and had problems to open my emotions to my self.
Because i am an monster and will rape and kill everything..
Years later i recognized what i miss, i understand what the fanatical "Feminazis" did to us.. And i loose a LOT respect to woman. There where years i hated the feminism, and everything with it.. Especially the shit with "the man may die in war, they are evil let them suffer.."
I really like the change of the discussion.. And i think this "oh but woman suffer also..." cryer are in the defense.. Because WE ALREADY KNOW THAT ALL WOMAN ARE SUFFERING AND ALONE AND ITS ALL THE FAULT OF THE MALE... .. I really cant hear that any more..
I know that man where heroes, not superheroes but they tried to live their life. And "children and woman thirst!" on the titanic shows that 100 years ago, the man thought in the same way.
Rescue and save the others.. Thats the Knight style ;)
Now the younger man are remenbering this.. And i see the hate and the emotions in their harts.. It is realy nice to see.
best regards,
/ajk
Ajk, it's not good to see hatred in anyone's heart; it only leads to more hatred and eats away at the soul. No one here has defended corrupt women. Being in the Christian faith, I've seen a lot of preference to males over females, and I've had some hatred myself. The best thing to do, I've found, is ignore the ignorant and live your life the way you know you have a right to. This is what you have done, and this is what I hope other young men like you will do. Your feelings are not evil, they're natural, the way God made you.
As a last note, I'm very surprised people in your area of Europe sound so terrified of sexuality. Last I heard, those areas were too liberal, showcasing sexuality and even porn to children. It's very sad how our world is incapable of a healthy balance.
Kim, as others have said, you did indeed nail it.
This is exactly what I went through, as many other have. In my teen years my parents' often violent marriage ended in divorce and the the anti male rhetoric went through the roof at an age where I was becoming a man and was the only male left in the house with two older sisters.
It got to the point that I was suicidally depressed. I up until then excellent grades plummeted and no one cared. I was left to do whatever I wanted, virtually unattended and not thought of. I had no interest in any relationships and vowed never to have children, and never get too close to anyone, as I thought I would inevitably turn into a vile monster as all men apparently did and hurt those that I should love.
Eventually a close friend of mine turned me around, and I married her and we now have two children (a boy and a girl) that I love more than anything.
My mother still holds a grudge over my father, and still thinks very little of male bashing although she is beginning to understand that it bothers me. My sisters have just both divorced. One because he apparently worked too much; after years of my sister nagging him to work more to make more money. Now my 5 nephews are growing up without their fathers...
You're mostly right. That is what a good hearted man goes through. We're raised being told we're all equal. But if you do anythign to a woman you will be punished harshly. So we often become paranoid and withdrawn from women, contributing to social ineptitude.
Once we rech the teen years it suddenly goes south fast. We're told that we are not the kind protective people we wanted to be. Instead the dreams of being a cop or a firefighter are replaced with more cost effective jobs.
Suddenly our roles have been regulated to becoming a provider. You're not responsible until you can afford to raise a family, and have a job that is safe enough to ensure you can always provide.
That's the good part. The bad part is that starting in junior high we are beaten over the head with the statistics. Look at your best friend. Either you or he is a future sexual predator. Not a criminal, not a robber or a purse snatcher. No they specify SEXUAL PREDATOR. One of you is going to be no better than an animal that preys on women who are now magically too weak to be your equal, since obviously they can not defend themselves against a beast.
If your look into it too deep you discover the truth. It only takes an accusation. A woman decides she doesn't like the way you look. Or feels like the boss favored you over her. And she just has to tell her friends a few lies with conviction. Sometimes even telling herself the same lie. "He always stares at my breasts, I don't feel safe. You've seen him look. You remember." Say it loud enough, often enough, her friends beleive, then collaborate the story. Suddenly charges are pressed. Jobs are lost. Lives are ruined. Seen it happen to a friend of mine. He'd never even spoken to her before. He didn't even know who she was until he was questioned. The charges were withdrawn, but he still lost his job and his home.
But there is a way to avoid such situations. Men who are arrogant and self centered, true pigs who mistreat women. They are often immune to punishment. Women are often too scared to dirrectly stop them. or worse yet, like them because of their confidence. These are them men who give the rest a bad name. These are the ones who get away with beating their wives. The ones who sleep with more women than they can count. These are the men who spread sexual diseases, or sleep with married women. And they get away with it because they never formed the respect for women that often becomes fear or loathing later in life.
This is an interesting article. I hear what you are saying and agree with most of it. I would venture that if women were not treated as second-class citizens, not continually subjected to harrassment, rape, lower pay, etc., that men's issues would be taken more seriously. I am a white male. I think that the feminist movements have been misdirected at times, to say the least, but that does not mean that women's rights should be written off. to compare men's problems with what women go through in this world is laughable, frankly. i find it hard to muster up the pity for my poor man-brethren.
"You want to fall in love, but you become more and more jaded as every relationship you have is with someone who is shallow, selfish, materialistic and narcissistic." - um, not all women are these things. that's an offensive generalization.
"Imagine what it must be like to be that sweet, innocent boy and to be subjected to a constant stream of negative images and portrayals of men, knowing all the while that a man is precisely what you'll grow up to be." - so be better than that. live with an attitude of respect. Also, i find it hard to believe that our children are constantly bombarded with negative images of men, judging from our culture...
men need to take responsibility. if 25% of women are sexually assaulted in college, something's wrong. there's a statistic for you.
I am a man. Sometimes it hurts to be in public. I feel these things every time I walk down the street or don't get a job because of what I am. Fortunately, I have a loving partner who shows me love and appreciation, and I her in return. I feel lucky to at the very least in the sanctity of my own apartment, feel safe in who I am, and not feel afraid to speak or express opinions like I do so often in public.
I didn't think a subject like this would ever be brought up. At least in my own lifetime. Thank you Kim for at the very least trying to understand another perspective.
I totally agree with this, I have studied statistics and if you ever do the same you will find some very interesting facts behind the oft quoted numbers, for example men get paid more than women. This is technically true, but at a given level of education and experience pay is very very close, with women having a slightly lower pay, often a mater of a few cents. The reason its so much lower on average is that women tend to have less education, mostly because educating women has only recently become wide spread in our society(the USA), let alone others. So older generations weigh down the average, along with a few other things that skew the average. Yet most people don't even think about the statistics, just brandy them about like weapon.
Anon, wonderfully said! Excellent points. Trager, thank you indeed for being just as open-minded to women's plights as Kim is to men's. Your words encouraged me :)
you forgot the part in highschool when you are told how shallow men are when looking at women, and then spend 4 years having your female friends constantly tell you about the jerks you are taking, but they wouldn't dare date you or one of your friends, because it "might ruin the relationship." And then only in the end do you realize that they are far more shallow than you ever where, but don't worry... that will change.
thank you for publishing this.
I actually believe that many of the fears men have about women and marriage is why the expensive love doll (and soon robots) have become such a huge industry and will I suspect be an almost ubiquitous industry unless divorce laws, treatment in the courts etcetera are changed.
It's that bad.
And no I am not joking.
Many men say why bother?
and just as many women often say they are involved in a homosexual relationship becuase they don't have to worry about getting pregnant I would guess that many men end up doing the same thing (despite the fact that it is not "PC" to say that some people choose to be in a homosexual relationship). If you spend any time living adjacent to a homosexual community in say Los Angeles or San Francisco and met people you will quickly find that such talk and admissions are rampant within their community even though the press releases never say it.
There is a huge mistrust between the sexes now that has been stoked by decades of misinformation spread as truth by the media.
You know I used to go outside and take photos.
I tended toward architecture but sometimes I would go to public parks just so I could take photos of people.
Within the past few years I have noticed I am extremely self conscious about using a camera anywhere a child is playing. It's a huge concern a a man alone in a park that some one might mistake your intentions and question why you might take photos of a child in a public place.
I have some old photos or people with dogs and kids with dogs and familys etc which I think are wonderful, but quite frankly I would be to afraid to take nice pictures of kids in a park anymore.
And that is just horrible when you think about it.
Trager, you are wrong on many counts. 25 percent of women are NOT raped in college. The wage gap of lower pay is a myth,too. To compare men's problems to women is KEY. To die in a war at 18 IS BIG. What is more OPPRESSED than dead. It is "laughable" that you don't see the signifigance here, though your bigotry is showing.You are a typical feminist creep. The typical law-abiding man is already taking enough "responsibilty", already, Thank you very much. You don't see the poor images of men being shown to kids, in our culture, possibly because you don't want to see it. Sorry.
And you, anon, are sounding like a creep yourself. I've seen this happen before: men calling other men names, from sissy to wuss, when they dare to stand up for women. Sexism in all kinds of spheres, huh?
As for your comparison of oppression to death, I think many would agree they're quite close. Many of the women in Arab countries would probably prefer death to oppression, as did the founders fathers of our country and the slaves in the Civil War. Rather ironic, that.
"The wage gap of lower pay is a myth,too"
Not for everyone.
And if it makes you feel any better, more and more women are dying young in war too.
This amazingly well-delivered post goes straight to the truth about how it's like to live as a man in America, and probably most western societies at the moment.
I'm a 18 yr old man living in Colorado, and that's probably one of the worst age brackets to be in, because people also think "Delinquent", and "gangster", among other things, if you're even outside!
To continue with your theme:
Imagine you're a teenage male, and in high school, all you hear is how shallow men are, how evil, how they're always hurting women, blah blah blah... and then, as contrast, what you're seeing is incredibly shallow, vapid "women" doing impossibly stupid, hypocritical things, and "Oh, women can beat the living shit out of men, but men can't touch women" is a common theme, and you can see it almost once a week, where these so-called "women" spread gossip, rumor, lies, and have incredible feuds over the most nonsensical things. Imagine dating one for just over two years, and while she acts worse and worse you continue to stay with her until she breaks up with you because "there's so many cute guys, and I don't know if...", instead of any serious, real reason, even though you were being one of those incredibly nice guys to her the whole time and never asked anything of her, except for when you were trying to move your relationship forward.
Imagine all that, and then try, somehow, to imagine marrying one of these immature fools.
THAT was my high school experience. I will NEVER marry, or even become involved with any "woman" because of this.
Back then, I did what I wanted, and ignored what people said how I should act to women, because, of course, "Women are our equals". After my gf broke up with me, I became disillusioned, and if one of these girls hit me(more than just playful), I retaliated, usually with a GB2KITCHEN that knocked them clear across the room(And got my share of fighting with the imbeciles that dated them). Now I say, *edited* that way of thinking. EVERY SINGLE WOMAN I've ever met has been VASTLY inferior to me, not my equal, and I'll never hold any form of respect for them ever again.
What an incredibly healthy way of thinking, Pakars. You do realize that the author of this blog and this post is one of those "women", as you put it, who is vastly inferior to you and not worthy of your respect? It sounds to me like you're definitely the equal of those lesser women that you decribed, now.
Heavens, bitterness abounds here. Most of the men who posted have had reasonable things to say, valid reasons to be angry, and even the good sense not to condemn all of womankind, but a few have been nothing short of acidly hateful. Don't you guys realize there's no point in being bitter? You sound just as bad as the man-hating feminists who chalk up all their resentment into one big "poor little me, men are bad" trophy. You have no more excuse than they do to condemn an entire sex and, just like them, if you write off the opposite sex forever as inferior beings who hurt you, you'll just end up alone and angry for the rest of your days, with no one to blame but yourself.
Jennifer,It is still much more popular, (In society), for men to "dare to stand up for women" than it is for either men or women to "dare to stand up" for MEN. It's usually called the chivalry act. Trager said that men's issues were "laughable" in comparison to women's issues, and he didn't feel "Pity" for his "man-brethren". I felt like I HAD to call him out on that, though I'm not calling him a "Sissy" or a "wuss". Men criticizing other men,to receive praise from women,has been going on, since the world started,it seems. However, men can be friends with women, and get along with them, without putting down,or stereotyping masculinity, and men in the process. It is possible, though the world doesn't encourage it much yet..Also, if having "second-class status" means that I'm going to live longer, and have the government programs cater to me, than I do want second-class status. I'll take the other lumps that come with that.
Anon, though I didn't prefer your method of calling Tragar up on his comments, I did re-read his words and agree that some of them were unfair. Men do have pain and unfairness in society, and it definitely compares with women's problems. Thank you for explaining your thoughts.
Thanks, Kim. Consider your feet totally kissed. I have seen your sympathetic writings before.
I am 66, married 33 years to a Mexican woman who is my own age, kids and grandkids.
I am in Mexico, and plan on living here as much as I can, going back only for family needs in the States.
Why? The US is a misandrist nation, period. You have said exactly what males experience daily in the US. One cannot discuss or debate any of these issues with 99%+ of AW. Most AW are without empathy, and devoid of compassion, but they think they are wonderful. In 2004, a study showed that 22% of American men have vowed never to marry under any condition. The number is larger now.
I have written hundreds of thousands of words since the late 70's, trying to get women to understand what they are doing to men. It is a waste of time. They have unscrewed the top of their head and let the man-haters fill it with hatred for men, and cannot see things in front of their eyes. So, I don't bother any more.
Now, I write on MRA forums, telling men it is past time to leave. There is life outside the Anglosphere.
Maine just passed a law making it a FELONEY for men to look at children in a public place. Here in Mexico, I walk down the street in our village, and little girls come running out for a forehead kiss. Their mothers smile that the old foreigner likes their darlings. Last night, I went to a family-only birthday party for a five year old girl. She views me as sort of a grandpa, and tells her mom every year to be sure to invite me. Compare that to the US where they arrest men for talking to kids in public places, or for looking at them. Why would anyone stay where they are treated like that?
It is a long, slow process, but on average, about one man every two months gets my message and starts visiting male-friendly countries on track to expat. The good news is, they convince others to leave as well. I call this Operation Rescue.
By the way, a growing number of men are no longer affected by the usual insults and shaming language they receive from women if they dare state their feelings. Not caring at all what women think or feel or believe is probably the worst thing one can do to them.
By the way there are also a small but steady number of women, usually in their thirties or forties, who are writing they now realize how they were caught up in misandry, and regret it. This usually comes about after a woman realizes she will never find a husband, due to her orneriness aimed at men, usually learned from feminists, and starts looking around to find out what went wrong. It doesn't take them long.
I am reminded of a comment on a "marry foreign women" blog last night, from a woman who filled her comments with obscenities and vulgar language, while announcing the real reason she can't find a husband is because men are shallow creatures who reject her because she is not gorgeous. This miserable deluded person is incapable of realizing the reason she can't find a husband is because she is foul-mouthed and ornery. Sad. Or, hilarious...
Anonymous age 66
This paranoia is becoming insane. America is dangerous for men?? Both genders have their problems, and I'm beginning to think that, increasingly, it depends on where you are and what your surroundings are. It's rather like homosexuals: if you lived in a strictly Orthodox southern state, you'd swear they were closeted, oppressed, and terrified of coming out. Go to San Francisco, on the other hand, and they have the run of the town: Gay Day parades, marches, even fornicating in public or attacking churches, if they're rotten. Sometimes, it's all a matter of location and local beliefs, practices or law systems.
In some of the Bible belt states/towns, there are quiet women who don't talk much; I even met a sweet and intelligent woman in college who calmly told me that women in her church were taught to be submissive. Then, there are women in more liberal states who can walk around talking about how masculinity starts wars. It all depends on where you are, who you're around, and what your personal experience has been. A man from southern California would probably never believe that a woman from Arkansas faced prejudice.
The biggest problem seems to me for people to make mass assumptions: a woman grows up in a sexist household and decides that men are jerks and she doesn't need them. A young male dates her for a while, suffers from her coldness, and decides in turn that women aren't worth the trouble. And the cycle goes on and on..
@Anon age 66
Thank you for your comments. I've also seen your writings before and have always admired them for their clear, calm rationale and wisdom.
Soo many comments, all very interesting.
I'd like to offer the suggestion that men should reduce their participation in the workforce and take pay-cuts so as to be better house-husbands and to spend more time with their children. There is no longer a reason for a man to be an unseen martyr, giving his life in work for a family he rarely sees.
This sexual discrimination in the family courts is fueling a perception of sexual discrimination in the workforce. There's also a male-provider-culture which needs to be challenged.
I'd like to be a house-husband. I'm handy around the house and would really like to spend time with the kids. There are a lot of women working in difficult careers which need support at home.
Suggestion to men: Never date a woman who's never been independent. She'll have no clue what you're going through when you're inevitably thrust into a provider role.
Anon, what an excellent comment. Many good thoughts worth considering.
Would you believe that there are women who are trained to be dependent on men? There actually are, in some circles, patriarchal fantasies which involve men being heroes and having the roles of "prophet, priest and king" thrust on them from delusional religious nuts. The men in these families are expected to be demi-gods, while the women are naive, empty-headed little nothings who occasionally spout seemingly philosophical dialogue, but for the most part worship and obey Daddy until hubby comes along. Thank God this literally cultic thinking doesn't exist for most.
Jennifer
Hello Kim,
That message is getting a lot of response around the web. I saw it on glocktalk.com.
But yet, don't waste time imagining what it is like to be a man. It's pretty boring.
The times I've tried to imagine what it's like to be a woman, I've become stark raving terrified.
"The times I've tried to imagine what it's like to be a woman, I've become stark raving terrified"
It ain't that bad, gemini. I for one love having a range of interests, from sentimental cookbooks to warriors, that I'm pretty sure most men naturally don't have. It's pretty darn fun, living in my mind.
Jennifer
I belong to a growing contingent of men in what is known as the MGTOW, or 'Men Going Their Own Way' Movement. Most of us are men who've been through the wringer of family courts/relationships/workplace horrors/etc, but we also have quite a few younge men in our ranks.
MGTOW means that although we are acutely aware of the problems discussed here, we have decided to take no part in it anymore. We've turned away to live our own single lives. We will no longer be slaves to a system that destroys and denigrates us. We've weighed the benefits and the costs, and seen that the costs are far too great.
And what is women's answer? How do they react to us? Well, you'd think that women would want to have a 'dialogue' with us to try and work things out. Women are, after all, the more 'compassionate' and 'empathetic' sex, right? No. What we receive is shaming tactics and scorn. It turns out that when we stole the wheels off of women's lunch wagon, they didn't like it. Go figure.
The real gift of being a true MGTOW is that I don't care what women think of me. Unlike other men, I am no longer a little boy who needs 'mommie's' approval. I define who I am, and I do what I want. I am a true individual, not part of a shameful collective.
As always, I predict that one or two people will respond to my post with scorn or shaming tactics, even though I pointed out in this VERY POST that people do that kind of thing. It just goes to show how deep the dogma and the social conditioning runs. How nice it is to be free of that - intellectually and emotionally. Life is so much more interesting now.
When a woman cries "What happened to all the good men?!! I can now answer her with a knowing smile: "You did."
Best wishes from the land of freedom.
You, Kim, are the best person ever. If only we were all as knowledgable as you, the world would surely be a better place. The first two stages you have described are pretty much a description of the injustice I faced in primary school; the horrors of sexism and my inability to protect myself. Ironic, I think, given I was at that stage an advanced grade in karate.
Please, for the love of God, you're the only one who can open the eyes of the public - you need a wider audience. Invest in advertising, spread the word of this blog, hell even start a talk show if it helps. All I can say is that this information needs broadcasting, before the harsh eye of society turns a darker red.
Hello Kim
I translated and posted this excellent text of yours on my german masculist blog "Die Söhne von Perseus".
http://sonsofperseus.blogspot.com/2008/11/imaging-being-boy.html
It created quite a disturbing (positive) feedback even among non-MRA people and helps our task! We have to thank you for this very insightful summary of the situation of many men.
The german speaking part of the MRA-movement can't thank you enough for your bold endeavor.
Greetings
Manifold
Die Söhne von Perseus
http://sonsofperseus.blogspot.com
When I think "man" I too automatically think of "rape soldier".
I agree with this blog post.
If I wrote it, it would be thrice as long.
All I can say about this is that women change sides of the street when we share the same side walk.
WOMEN DO NOT KNOW WHAT THIS IS LIKE.
When I am at the park and talking to children who wander up from the playground wanting to pet my dog. I always have on the back of my mind not to be to friendly, to please stay away from me. I think in my head, while looking at the kid with a smile, please go away now, your embarrassing me. How long to I have to stand here looking like a man, a pedophile.
SOMETIMES I THINK, Just stay away from me, everyone, women and children please just leave me alone, go away from me. I don't want to be a part of this anymore..Just let me be....alone.
THIS IS WHAT IT IS LIKE BEING A MAN YOU FUC*ING WORLD.....THIS IS WHAT IT IS LIKE BEING HATED.
I know this is an old post, but I only just saw it, and wanted to say thankyou Kim.
Most women do NOT know what it is like. They do not have a CLUE what it is to step outside and be suspected, even HATED. Women do not have to deal with this; they are automatically assumed to be the victims of men.
Kim, you are much more insightful than most. You've pretty much hit the nail on the head, this is what it's like, every day, and mostly men are too afraid to admit it. Or they would rather just ignore it and hope they don't get falsely accused of something. Or they buy into the feminist myth ... sometimes I look at what feminists say about men, and I think, they must view us as Gods ... having no problems to deal with whatsoever, being able to do anything we like, being granted privileges in every area of life ... it's so far from the truth. It's just a plain lie.
That's when they're not insisting we're the spawn of Satan, of course.
I would add to what you've written, that even as a young man just searching for a woman to spend time with, you're likely to go through humiliations of every sort. A lot of women seem to get off on it. It seems like they hold all the power, socially and sexually, and don't they know it. Of course, as some of us find out, they only hold that power as long as men allow them to. We're all capable of detaching from this mess, as sad as that may be.
I would also like to add that the Anon post above me is dead on ... being seen with children in public is a problem because you will be viewed as a pedophile, just for being a man, even though the reasons are entirely innocent. It should be assumed that the situation is entirely innocent, but the opposite is true. And so men withdraw from children, and from women. Withdrawal provides relative safety from suspicion and false accusations.
Feminist 'all men are rapists', or 'most men are rapists', or even just 'rapists are everywhere' rhetoric has truly taken its toll. As an innocent man, you can almost expect to be blamed as a sexual predator at some point in your life. Hell, the implicit blame is always there.
"Being seen with children in public is a problem because you will be viewed as a pedophile, just for being a man"
Yeah. Right. Way to be paranoid, pal.
"Yeah. Right. Way to be paranoid, pal."
Actually, he is very accurate. In scotland recently it was reported a 3 year old girl drowned in a pond. She was seen soon before she drowned by a man who refused to help her for fear of being branded a pedophile.
It was recently reported in Melbourne that a man saw a child about 5 pushing a small child in a stroller on a very busy street. He said he refused to intervene for fear of being branded a pedophile.
It was recently reported in melbourne that a man whos job it was to counsell children of divorce was accused of rape by one of the girls he was counselling because the girl had told her parents she would no longer talk to him. He spent 3 months in jail while he 'proved his innocence'.
Men today are treated like rapists, pedophiles, wife beaters and all round 'bad guys' without having done any wrong. I have been severely abused by all manner of women during my divorce, most of whom I have never met.
Western Women really ARE that crap now and should be avoided as much as possible.
I know that some men are victimized, as everyone is in this world. However, I'm utterly shocked that you tell me TWO stories of utter cowards refusing to help small children to save their own reputations. Those men have their own cowardice to blame, NOT anyone else, and you dare to tell me their actions in a sympathetic tone?? There are still male predators; I've seen men twist religion to abuse women from Arab to Christian circles (aided by certain sick women to boot) as well as teen boys making lewd comments to a little twelve-year-old girl. When speaking against porn online, I've had at least three men defend it and call me all manner of names; even a gay man attacked my womanhood directly when he feared I was competition. Of course, these are just Western men; there are also the FGM commiting African men and female slaughtering Middle Eastern men. Do I hold their actions against all men or pardon vicious females who frame innocent ones, or call all men of a certain country crap because of that? Why no; what idiot would do that??
If I ever hear a man tell me he let a child risk their life because of his own paranoia, he won't have to worry about his manhood being attacked; there won't be any left.
you've forgot to mention how the university syllabus is arranged in a way to demean and devalue a mans worth while continuously victimizes and empowers women...if i have to past this course i have to eat it all up!! i might as well stomp on my heart and go into cardiac arrest..yes thats how i felt! what ever pride i have left of what being man is, is no longer there. my female friends?...theyre grades have never been better!
Us men don't need to imagine. We know western women have been programmed to hate us. I just ignore them. Western women are so crap they are not actually useful for anything. Not even sex any more.
Yep..I was a father of 4 with one woman for 23 years, married for 18 and yet she still despised me by the end of our marriage despiter being one of the most pampered women you would ever come across. Destroyed my company and finances trying to grab money for herself.
I tell every young man I meet. Do not co-habit, do not have kids, just treat women like cars. Change them over regularly and at the first sign of trouble trade them in. Women wanted to compete with us men? They have no idea how to compete and we are going to mop the floor with them.
Unbelievable, a pathetic misogynist comes here and speaks of treating women like cars and calling them crap. This, Kim, is why they get no sympathy. If I hear individual stories of men being mistreated, they have my sympathy, but the number of pathetic no-lifes who came here for an absurd pity fest is amazing.
I'll leave the last two comments, but before this escalates further, allow me to convey the following;
I'm a strong supporter of personal freedoms.....yet, I moderate comments on my blog. While I allow a variety of opinions, I am trying to achieve something with my blog. I want to reach people, I want to open minds and alter perceptions....I want to make a difference.
Such being my aims, I will not allow my blog to be a platform for the proliferation of biggotry or hatred nor do I allow it serve as a vehicle for people to exchange puerile insults. I have my name and my face on my blog. I don't operate under a pseudonymous voice sheltered by the confines of anonymity. I direct people I know to my blog.....my friends and family members have it in their favorites, my husband frequently recommends it to people he knows. Under such circumstances, I expect a certain level of respect and maturity from commenters on my blog.
I'm not worried about people being offended by my message. The message is what it is, and I won't water it down to make it more palatable. I will, however, make sure that it is conveyed in a manner that is calm and logical while avoiding resorting to emotion or dramatics to make my points.
Anyone who finds themselves unable to comment on my blog without resorting to juvenile tactics such as extreme vulgarity, insults and personal attacks, needs to find a different venue on which to express their opinion.
Kim,
good comment. PC is nothing but mind control and programming by the PTB. If women actually went and looked into the mens rights area they will see that millions of men are reporting women behaving terribly to wards them. I am one who was 'the gentlemans gentleman' and was very poorly treated by all but one woman friend in divorce. Divorcee is the new 'Jew'.
So I have turned my back on western women. I date eastern european women who behave like my gramdmothers did. Far from 'pity party' I dis-owned my former children and went on to live a life I love. I recommend to every man who is attacked by a faithless wife to dis-own the kids, pay no alimony or child support lawfully, and get on with his life. My biggest 'crime' is that I have recognised western women for what they are, turned my back on them, and live a life I love with minmal interaction with them. Millions of other men are doing the same.
Here is a very long discussion on this topic in the irish free man group.
http://freemanireland.ning.com/forum/topics/lifeboat-feminism
"However, I'm utterly shocked that you tell me TWO stories of utter cowards refusing to help small children to save their own reputations."
Anon, if you click here you will read stories of men simply refusing to step in and help women or children.
http://www.the-spearhead.com/2010/02/12/legislating-chivalry/
Women have spouted abuse and hatred at men for 40 years. The backlash has started and it is about 1% underway. The FIRST thing to go is that the 'man in the street' is starting to feel no obligation to assist women because they are 'equal'. Yes, we are talking about women being raped or beaten in the full sight of men who refuse to lift a finger to help them. Over the next few years this will become standard.
You can thank your 'sistas' who abused so many men for this eventuality. When the 'beta-males' called police officers decide they have had enough of womens abuse to anarchy will follow. And that will be very bad for women. It's not that far away in my opinion. Just look at south africa.
>>If I ever hear a man tell me he let a child risk their life because of his own paranoia, he won't have to worry about his manhood being attacked; there won't be any left.
Note the explicit threat of not only violence, but sexual injury to a man for not being willing to risk prison, loss of reputation, his job, and all his assets to act like a woman thinks a man should act. A throw away tool for women and children.
I don't blame you for being angry. All your life you are told that men have no purpose except serving women and children. Then, one horrid day you encounter this terrible man (there are millions of them out there) who says he is first going to live for himself, just as you do. He must be destroyed, right?
Actually, this phenomenon was described many years ago in a book called FUTURE SHOCK, when change comes faster than people can adapt to it.
Most women have no idea what most men in the US think of them today. MRA's debate if women would be horrified if they really knew.
To me the debate is not especially relevant, because most women are emotionally incapable of empathy for men. Any disagreement results in name calling, insults, and threats.
Anonymous age 67
I find it interesting that Anonymous age 67 points out that women are emotionally incapable of empathy for men and that any disagreement results in threats, yet he makes no mention of globalman100's post of the anarchy threat being "very bad for women", or that men feel no obligation to assist a woman being raped or beaten on the streets. Makes them (anon 67 and globalman) no better than the feminists in my opinion. I do like your blog though, Kim and think that it is very sad about what is going on between the sexes.
Gents,
"or that men feel no obligation to assist a woman being raped or beaten on the streets"
As is typical for a woman Anon takes the comment that SOME men like me are now taking position that since women are laughing at us as we are 'raped' in the family court, an experience that MANY people claim is far more traumatic for a man than a simple rape of a woman since men in divorce commit suicide at about 8x the rate of women who are raped, and she applies it to ALL men. A typical way in which women lie. I am sick and tired of western women and their lies and hypocrisy and I will not tolerate it any more. I urge ALL men to denounce the lies ands hypocrisy of western women every time they see it.
Anon age 67,
"To me the debate is not especially relevant, because most women are emotionally incapable of empathy for men. Any disagreement results in name calling, insults, and threats."
Thank you for your comments. I have had women abuse me verbally up to and including calling for my death. This week I was asked to curtail my freedom of speech on a site where the 'women complained'. This same week a woman claimed to believe 'in the extermination of men like my husband'. When women claim to believe in extermination of a specific group of men who have been found guilty of no crime yet complain at the truth being presented to them I say it is useless to talk to these stupid, lying, hypocritical people. The only course of action is to hold them 'equal before the law' by which I mean a jury of 12 men. Women are not 'equal but different'. Western women are so stupid the vast majority believe 'a woman can do anything a man can do' and 'gender is a social construct'. I am insulted any person so stupid as to believe these two things would claim 'equality' to me and I rebutt that claim of 'equality'. I am not so stupid as to believe those two things.
To globalman,
I did not apply it to ALL men, I was referring to you and anon67. I also implied that feminists are wrong in their beliefs. If you had bothered to read my whole post, you would know that! Persecution and mistreatment of anyone, based on gender, religion etc. is totally wrong! Your blog is awesome Kim, keep up the great work!
Anon,
"Persecution and mistreatment of anyone, based on gender, religion etc. is totally wrong"
Then get out there and start denouncing the perjury, kidnapping, extortion and theft that women commit every day against good husbands and fathers. So much so that the suicide rate of men in divorce is about 8x women depending on where you are. It is disgusting to me that women will not denounce the other women for doing this. Indeed, it is even more disgusting that women denounce the MEN who are drawing attention to the needless deaths of so many men.
"I did not apply it to ALL men, I was referring to you and anon67."
Then be clear who you mean in your writing. You just said 'Men' which, without qualification, means ALL men. This is a common tactic of women to denigrate men and I won't tolerate it.
I don't have to imagine, half of us don't have to imagine.
I appreciate the post bringing it to light but the insensitive irony is that female readers will think that imagining it would even come within a tenth of what it feels like to really live it.
I am sure women have hardships that men can't imagine, but don't think for a second I wouldn't switch places with a women in this lifetime and era.
To the ladies out there who are reading this... you will never know how it feels.
Hi Kim, I am Colin (WingBliss) from grateful2u.wordpress.com
I just want to say I really respect women like yourself. We are who we attract, anger attracts anger, love attracts love. Professor Lei Jiu Nan (雷久南) (also a famous female doctor in Asia)has shared that negative energies can be passed down to our offspring which resulted in more angers). Thank you, keep writing, we need more women like yourselves!
Yes, Anon 67, because I clearly said that I believe in only living for myself and not letting a child come to harm when I criticized Global's sum of selfishness statement. If you think a man protecting a child is the equivalent of "being a throwaway tool" or "being just like what WOMEN say men should be", you've got some serious issues with regular definitions. Somehow I don't think most men would agree with you. Nor, I'm happy to say, do most American men live in the MRA world. Considering that you've lived in Mexico for more than ten years, and just by your typical generalizations, I find your opinion of how "most" American men and women think dubious.
"She was seen soon before she drowned by a man who refused to help her for fear of being branded a pedophile"
That proves he was a majorly stupid coward, not that the world was waiting to condemn him.
This is mightily powerful, Kim. But some of the scenarios you wrote assume the position of worst-case scenario, assuming for example that if there were a divorce, it would be entirely the woman's fault. It's valid, but reminds me of the dangers of tunnel vision.
"I've also seen your writings before and have always admired them for their clear, calm rationale and wisdom"
You apparently haven't seen many of them.
I looked up the claim that Anon 68 made about Maine passing a law against men looking at children, and found all kinds of crazy laws. But his words about the law's purpose and function were inaccurate. On two of the three websites that Google listed discussing this law, some people (men, in fact) blessedly offered links to, or posted, the words of the actual law. They are as follows:
An Act To Strengthen the Crime of Visual Sexual Aggression against a Child
Be it enacted by the People of the State of Maine as follows:
Sec. 1. 17-A MRSA §256, sub-§1, as amended by PL 2005, c. 655, §1, is further amended to read:
1. A person is guilty of visual sexual aggression against a child if:
A. For the purpose of arousing or gratifying sexual desire or for the purpose of causing affront or alarm, the actor, having in fact attained 18 years of age, exposes the actor's genitals to another person or causes the other person to expose that person's genitals to the actor and the other person, not the actor's spouse, has not in fact attained 14 years of age. Violation of this paragraph is a Class D crime;
B. For the purpose of arousing or gratifying sexual desire, the actor, having in fact attained 18 years of age, exposes the actor's genitals to another person or causes the other person to expose that person's genitals to the actor and the other person, not the actor's spouse, has not in fact attained 12 years of age. Violation of this paragraph is a Class C crime;
C. For the purpose of arousing or gratifying sexual desire, the actor, having in fact attained 18 years of age, intentionally engages in visual surveillance, aided or unaided by mechanical or electronic equipment, of the uncovered breasts, buttocks, genitals, anus or pubic area of another person in a private place, not the actor's spouse and not having in fact attained 14 years of age, under circumstances in which a reasonable person would expect to be safe from such visual surveillance. Violation of this paragraph is a Class D crime; or
D. For the purpose of arousing or gratifying sexual desire, the actor, having in fact attained 18 years of age, intentionally engages in visual surveillance, aided or unaided by mechanical or electronic equipment, of the uncovered breasts, buttocks, genitals, anus or pubic area of another person in a private place, not the actor's spouse and not having in fact attained 12 years of age, under circumstances in which a reasonable person would expect to be safe from such visual surveillance. Violation of this paragraph is a Class C crime.
It's not that surprising that Anon 68 misstated the purpose of the law, because it apparently spread around the Net massively misrepresented by whatever idiot journalist decided to butcher it.
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