I saw this over on Antimisandry.com. It's originally from the blog, 'Just Another Disenfranchised Father'. I imagine you may be finding it popping up in various other places around the web as well...because a story like this needs to be told. So, keeping with that thought, I'm posting it as well. Prepare to be horrified.
Monday, October 22, 2007
Oh, didn't you know John? Your son died four months ago.
Every now and then I encounter a story which makes me want to grieve and rage at the same time. Consider Jordon Lyon, a ten year old boy who dived into the water to save his 8 year old stepsister last May. Thankfully, she was pulled out, but tragically, he went under and was drowned. A terrible incident for all concerned, it was made worse by the fact that two "community support officers" stood on the bank and whined they hadn't been trained for the work rather than dive in after him.
I will reserve my scorn for that pair. I hope they spend the rest of their lives regretting their cowardice (a much misused word is cowardice, but it surely applies here), but beyond that they are relevant only insofar as their behavior provided the vehicle for their father to find out what had happened to his son.
No, he wasn't informed as a matter of course.
Oh, stepdad Anthony Ganderton got there as fast as he could, and then mom, Tracey Ganderton was interviewed on the BBC expressing her horror at the officers' wretchedness. Then there was the inquest. Should the fake cops be reprimanded or sanctioned in some way, or not? Lots of public wringing of hands, political recriminations, and general wailing and gnashing of teeth.
You'd think that someone, somewhere in all this would think to ask if anyone had told Jordon's dad, wouldn't you? Where exactly is Mr. Lyon anyway?
There is no Mr. Lyon, because Jordon's name is actually Jordon Prestwich.
Oh good grief, not that game again?!
Very probably, because you won't find the name Prestwich anywhere in the news reports of the death and inquest, nor even on Jordon's memorial website, not until 22 Sept when there is found an entry which reads:
WHY DID NOBODY TELL ME 22nd Sep 2007
JOHN PRESTWICH from BLACKPOOL relation: FATHER
You gave your life to save another. I couldn't be more proud of you son. Hero at 10 year's old.
'If I went to heaven and you wern't there,I'd write your name on a golden stair.'
'I'd give the angels back there wings, golden harps and other thing's'
Just to prove my love is true,I'd go through hell to get to you'.
Tracey!!!! Contact me!!!!
Yes. Why did nobody tell him?
Probably for the same reason that no-one told him where he'd gone when his mother took off with Jordon and his brother Brandon one day leaving no forwarding address. The Child Support Agency and the police wouldn't tell him, inappropriately citing the Data Protection Act. Now that's a good one, isn't it? The people who take the child support won't say where they send the money because, well, they just can't be bothered? They didn't even pass on a letter to her, despite saying they would. Scum. Utter puerile, covering-their-ass, snivelling, bottom-dwelling scum.
So how does John find out that his son is dead? Well, 8 years later he's watching TV and this report comes on about two gutless "Community Support Officers" who stood by while a child drowned and who are let off the hook by a half-assed claim that the kid was probably dead by the time they got there (yeah, right). It's only while he's watching this choreographed ass-covering that John realizes the kid they're talking about is, was, his son.
"It was like someone had hold of my throat and I couldn't get any words out, I just collapsed on the floor," he said.
Can you imagine?
Can you really imagine the unspeakable horror?
For years, the best you could do was to be "...on the system, the electoral register. I am available to be found if someone looks, and I've done that on purpose, so that if Jordon and Brandon did decide to look for me, they could find me." then you turn on the TV and the first thing you know for all that time about your kid is that he's drowned trying to save some unknown stepdaughter. And no-one's told you. No-one's thought to look for you and tell you.
Dear God, but the horror, the unspeakable horror. Listen to him talk about it here. Really, listen, it's well worth it. He went so far as to consult a spiritualist trying to find his sons. The pain in his voice is absolutely palpable, but he still has the strength to forgive her for disappearing as she did, saying it was nothing malicious, with lots of excuses for her. The man's a bloody saint.
But I call bullshit. There was nothing stopping her from keeping in touch. Absolutely nothing. She just left it all up to him despite being the one who left and let the grey, bureaucratic incompetants do the rest. The cops, even now, are lying about what they're saying to John.
This is not a society that gives a damn about families, this is not a society that cares about children and their parents. This is a society of indifference, of cowardice, of sustained apathetic carelessness which it follows up with a lurid interest in the pitiful aftermath.
Again, I say, damn them all.
Can you imagine? I can't. I don't think any of us can, especially those of us that are parents. The thought of finding out that your child is dead from a news report, like any other disinterested, unrelated party is...unthinkable. It's so unthinkable that I've cried all three times I've read this while I try to imagine what that must have been like for this man. I can't. I was there when my 13 year old brother died tragically, it destroyed my family. None of us ever got over it...we survived it...barely. And that was with being able to attend his viewing, being able to see him one last time, being there for his funeral, watching him be laid to rest. How will this man ever find peace? How will he ever obtain closure? And even though we all know it is not his fault that nobody thought it was important enough to let him know his son had died, he will still blame himself for not being there. That's what parents do when they lose a child. It's all about what they could have and should have done. It's seldom you hear something more heartwrenching and tragic. All I have to say is, to the father, I'm so sorry and I wish there was some way I could lessen your pain, and to the mother, HOW COULD YOU?
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