Sunday, September 30, 2007
Saturday, September 29, 2007
Men face jail for rape if women are 'too drunk' to consent in bed to boost convictions
Men who have sex with drunk women could face a rape charge
Men who have sex with drunken women will be at risk of being convicted of rape under new laws to be considered by ministers.
The legal shake-up would mean a woman would be considered incapable of giving consent to sex if she had been drinking heavily.
Police would be asked to carry out blood and urine tests on a woman who complained of rape to find out how much alcohol is in her body. They would then used "back calculations" to work out how drunk she was at the time of the alleged attack.
A "drink and sex limit" would sweep away the confusion and controversy in the courts surrounding the issue of when a man accused of rape can claim he believed a woman gave her consent to sex.
But it would open the way to prosecutions of husbands or regular boyfriends who have sex with drunken wives or partners as well as fierce arguments over medical evidence and real levels of intoxication of alleged victims.
A consultation document is to be published by the Home Office in the New Year that will lay down the basis for new laws and try to meet Labour's aim of forcing up numbers of rape convictions. At present only one rape accusation in 20 ends in a conviction and ministers are convinced that means rapists are getting away with it.
Almost all disputed rape cases are of "partner", "acquaintance" or "date" rape in which both parties were known to each other before the alleged attack happened.
A rape law making it an offence to have sex with a woman who has reached a set level of drunkeness is to be proposed by the Home Office committee that four years ago recommended the disastrous reclassification of cannabis that made possessing the drug less of a crime.
The Advisory Council on the Misuse of Drugs is to report next month suggesting the use of medical tests and back calculation.
A study carried out last month for the Association of Chief Police Officers suggested that a women could be expected to show 'marked intoxication levels' after drinking the equivalent of two bottles of wine.
It found that in 120 cases of sexual assault examined by researchers, in 119 cases the woman had been drinking.
But because of "marked time delays between the collection of samples and the incident", alcohol could be detected by tests in only 62, just over half, of the cases. Blood tests can find alcohol in the body 24 hours after drinking and urine tests after 72 hours.
The ACPO research found that in 31 cases alcohol levels at the time of the incident could be estimated by "back-calculating".
It said it was "significant" that 22 cases showed the woman had 200 milligrams of alcohol for every 100 millilitres of blood.
This level is equivalent to eight 175 milliletre pub "standard" glasses of wine, or two and a half times the drink driving limit.
But the ACPO report warned that there are "caveats about the approximate nature of the calculations".
Back calculations usually work on the basis that the body breaks down one unit of alcohol - half a pub standard glass of wine - every hour. However, alcohol breaks up in different bodies at different rates.
The ACPO report said: "If one considers a social drinker, one could expect marked intoxication at levels of 200 milligrams per 100 millilitres and symptoms could include reduced inhibitions, disorientation, impaired judgement and co-ordination, drowsiness, memory loss and, at higher levels, unconsciousness."
The law already suggests that a woman who is asleep or unconscious is less likely to have consented to sex. Since 2003, a man accused of rape has had to show he had "reasonable" grounds for believing a woman consented. Before then, he had only to demonstrate that he believed she had consented.
Solicitor General Mike O'Brien is considering the drink and sex limit among proposals for new rules that could also include fresh guidance for juries on matters of consent and the right for defendants to call experts on rape who would explain to juries how damaging to a victim the offence is.
A Home Office spokesman confirmed yesterday that the Advisory Council has produced a report and added: "The results will be published in the New Year. It will then be for ministers to decide what may be the right policies to take forward."
But criminologist Dr David Green of the Civitas think tank said: "They are trying to introduce scientific certainties where there are no scientific certainties. The pretence that there can be certainty is likely to lead to miscarriages of justice.
"It is much better to leave these things to the good sense of juries to decide." The legal pitfalls around rape and alcohol were powerfully illustrated in a landmark case last year in which a security guard had sex with the 21-year- old woman student while she was lying drunk and unconscious in a corridor outside her flat in a university hall of residence.
Even though the security guard, 20-year-old Ryairi Dougal, was a stranger to the woman, a judge at Swansea Crown Court instructed the jury to bring in a not guilty verdict because she could not remember whether she had given consent.
"Drunken consent is still consent," Mr Justice Roderick Evans told the jury.
Case study: Ryairi Dougal was cleared of rape in a landmark case last year because his alleged victim was too drunk to recall events.
The security guard had sex with the student while she was lying drunk and unconscious in a corridor outside her flat in Aberystwyth University.
The case hinged on whether the 21-year-old he was accused of assaulting had consented to sex.
Swansea Crown Court was told by the woman there was "no way" she would have agreed, but when questioned by the defence, she acknowledged she could not remember anything and therefore could not definitively say if she had consented or not.
Even though 20-year-old Mr Dougal was a stranger to the woman, the judge told the jury to bring in a not guilty verdict because she could not remember whether she had given consent.
I saw this today and, needless to say, was disgusted. It's not that the concept is new....feminists have pushing it for some time, it's just scary to see it passing beyond the realm of radical feminism into possible legislation. It's yet another attempt to relieve women of accountability for their actions. As I stated previously in an online discussion, if a woman isn't responsible for any of her sexual decisions or actions while drunk, then why is a man? If we follow that line of "logic", a man shouldn't be guilty of committing rape if he can prove he was inebriated at the time it occurred. If they pass this travesty, what's going to come next? Mark my words, it'll only be a matter of time before we see them trying to pass through lesgislation that a woman isn't capable of giving consent if she has P.M.S. because of the hormonal effects on her body, or that a man should have been able to read her body language and discern if her "yes" really meant "no". If you give consent, you give consent. Unless you've got a knife to your throat or a gun to your head at the time, you gave your consent and are therefore accountable for that decision. For me, much of the current problems with the behavior of women are quite simply explained. If you take away all acountability from a person and allow them not to bear the responsibility for their actions or decisions, what do you end up? Go to any club or bar in the west and you'll find your answer...p.s. they'll be the ones in heels.
Thursday, September 27, 2007
In the mid 1800's a group of men, women and children were crossing the plains of United States. They were ill-equipped for the journey and had suffered terribly. Part way through their journey, they reached a river that they had hoped would be easy to cross. They found a wide expanse of water teeming with floating junks of ice. At this point, many members of the party sat down and wept because they knew they were too weak and would be unable to cross. Around this time, a group of men arrived who'd come to offer assistance to the struggling people. An 18 year old boy, along with two of his friends saw the predicament and, without hesitation, preceded to carry each and every member of the party across the river. Later on, all three of these young men died from complications due to exposure. Before they died, they had each expressed on numerous occassions that they didn't regret a thing, and were only glad that they had the opportunity to serve.
I can't even type that without tearing up.
My great, great (possibly another great) grandfather also traveled across the United States in the mid 1800's. He wasn't a part of the above group, but he was part of a similar party. He was 16 years old and was traveling with his parents, his 2 young brothers and baby sister. Early on in the journey, he was forced to bury both of their parents. This 16 year old boy traveled the remaining distance, all the way west to California, taking over the family and taking care of his brothers and sister, the oldest of which was nine years old. He cared for and raised them on his own, becoming responsible for 3 young children when he was only a child himself.
Throughout time, men have inspired us with their acts of bravery and heroism. Now, I don't want to give the impression that I don't think women do anything of worth. They have and they do. For instance, I think the worth of a mother who gives of herself lovingly and selflessly to the care of her children is of inestimable worth. Women have done great things, the problem is, many women don't seem to value that which women have contributed. By the same token, many women refuse to acknowledge the great contributions men have made. They would prefer to counter any positive estimation of men by pointing out any evil that has been committed by men. This is so unneccessary and so sad. How tragic when people are too mean-spirited to give credit where it is due.
"To be ignorant of one's ignorance is the malady of the ignorant."
-Amos Bronson Alcott
"The greatest obstacle to discovery is not ignorance -- it is the illusion of knowledge. "
-Daniel J Boorstin
"Nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity. "
-Martin Luther King, Jr.
I share these with you because I think they are a fitting tribute to feminism and those who follow it. They are a fitting tribute to anyone who chooses to pursue a course of hatred and blanket discrimination. Like any extremist, the scariest thing about the devout feminist is that she truly believes she's doing something right, something good, even something great. That's why you can't reason with a radical feminist. Try reasoning with a white supremacist or a radical muslim intent on Jihad. It can't be done. They're not working with logic, atleast not logic as rational individuals recognize it. They're fighting for a cause. The first problem is, they never bothered to find out if their cause was legitimate. The second problem is they're using tactics that are morally reprehensible. Even if you have a valid cause, if you don't maintain a moral high-ground while fighting for it, you lose your validity. If you strive to accomplish your goals at the expense of others, you lose your validity. Another fitting quote would be "a little knowledge is a dangerous thing". Armed with a few distorted facts and a sense of righteous anger and indignation, they step forth in the defense of women everywhere. Well, as a woman, I'd like to kindly request that they cease and desist. Feminism has done vast damage to society. Femism has not only messed up women and men, but it's done enormous damage to children and families. At it's true root, although the majority of feminists are unaware of it, feminism sits on a platform of hatred and discrimination. Hatred and discrimination have always been the result of ignorance.
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
All I have to say is...prepare yourself.
Virginia’s New Putative Father Registry Violates Fathers’ Right to Raise Their Own Children
By Mike McCormick and Glenn Sacks
Virginia’s controversial new Putative Father Registry law asks any man who has had heterosexual non-marital sex in Virginia to register with the State. Supporters say the law will help connect fathers with their children before the children are put up for adoption. Critics see it as another example of the erosion of citizens’ privacy. Both sides miss the real point of the Registry--to remove a father's right to prevent his child's mother from giving their child up for adoption without his consent.
Incredibly, under the new law, putative fathers who fail to register waive their right to be notified that their parental rights are being terminated. They also forfeit the right to be notified of the adoption proceedings and to consent to the adoption. Rather than being required to make a legitimate effort to find and notify the father, the state can now simply check the Registry and, if the man has not registered, give his child away.
Such violations of fathers’ rights are common. For example, in the widely-reported Huddleston adoption case, Mark Huddleston’s baby boy was adopted out when he was three days old, but Huddleston didn't know the baby existed until two months after his birth. As a New Mexico court later found, the private adoption agency did not notify Huddleston of the pending adoption, thus denying him the chance to raise his son.
In an adoption case, the burden of identifying the father should be on the mother. It is the mother, not the father, who is certain to be aware of the child’s birth, and it is the mother who knows (or should know) the baby’s parentage. However, when states have tried to craft measures requiring a mother who seeks to put her baby up for adoption to find and notify the baby’s father, there has been opposition from the National Organization for Women and other women’s groups.
Defenders of the Registry justify disregarding fathers with numerous unfair assumptions about men and their intentions. For example, Kerry Dougherty, a prominent Virginia newspaper columnist, asserts:
“I think we're being too kind to these men. Guys who don't stick around long enough to find out whether they've caused a pregnancy have terminated their paternal rights. If they know a baby's on the way and then disappear, they aren't fathers…the General Assembly ought to look for ways to strip these irresponsible Romeos of their rights, not invite them to record their random copulations.”
One wonders if Dougherty knows anyone who has dated within the last 40 years. It is absurd to think that in modern relationships, when there’s an out-of-wedlock birth it must be because the father ran off. In reality, most unwed biological fathers do care about their children, but often do not know of their existence or are unsure that the children really are biologically theirs. There have been countless adoption cases where these fathers have struggled desperately for the right to raise their own children. One also wonders why a woman who wants to avoid the responsibility of raising a child (and of paying child support) is viewed sympathetically, while a man in exactly the same position is a villain.
There are numerous other problems with the Registry. A registrant must provide his social security number, driver's license number, home address, and employer, as well as details about the sexual affair and his sexual partner. This sensitive, personal information will be available to the baby’s mother, the lawyers involved in the adoption, court employees, and anyone able to hack in to the computer system.
The law should instead require that an honest, exhaustive search for the father be conducted before an adoption can proceed. This search should include use of the Federal Parent Locator Service, which contains a vast array of information, including the National Directory of New Hires. The FPLS is used to enforce child support, find children involved in parental kidnappings, and to enforce child custody and visitation. State systems are tied into the FPLS, and they are often remarkably effective at finding parents.
Fathers have the right to raise their own children. Virginia’s Registry is a shameful attempt to circumvent that right.
Holy crap! I had a hard time reading this because I found myself getting stuck each time at the part that said Virginia's asking all heterosexual men who have had sex outside of marriage to register with the state. Are you kidding? Men are supposed to register like some kind of sex offender if they've had non-marital sex? Let's flip it around. Since they're, allegedly, doing this in the interest of children not being placed for adoption without the father's knowledge, and since it's apparently an acceptable request for people to register with the state over such matters, why not ask the women to register. Why not ask any woman who's had non-marital sex to register and provide a list of men she's been sexually active with? That way, since the state's so eager to get involved with the issue, should a child be conceived, they'll have a ready-made list of names to pursue in the case of an unexpected pregnancy. Don't get me wrong, I'm not recommending this as a course of action, I'm merely saying that if it's an acceptable request for men, then the same request should be acceptable for women, and if it isn't, then the law needs to be abolished.
Ofcourse, the state's real intention is very obvious. Most guys are not going to be too eager to register with the state, disclosing private, personal information. That means that most men will be waiving any rights to any decisions regarding their child.
“I think we're being too kind to these men. Guys who don't stick around long enough to find out whether they've caused a pregnancy have terminated their paternal rights. If they know a baby's on the way and then disappear, they aren't fathers…the General Assembly ought to look for ways to strip these irresponsible Romeos of their rights, not invite them to record their random copulations.”
This, I don't even know where to begin with...but I'll try. Much to my chagrin, men and women are willingly engaging in promiscuous sex these days. What man who's had a one night stand with a women, is going to be hanging around to see if a pregnancy occurs, especially if they used protection? If it was a one night or couple night thing, how would they know that a baby's on the way? So, following Ms. Dougherty's "logic", a man who's engaged in a brief, consensual affair should be stripped of all parental rights. So what should happen to a woman who's also engaged in a brief, consensual affair? Since Ms. Doughterty seems to feel this behavior is deserving of extreme retribution, I wonder what she feels should be a woman's punishment for engaging in identical behavior? This is the reasoning we get from the hate mongers. It doesn't need to make any sense, there needn't be any coherent train of thought or cohesion of argument...as long as the mantra of men bad/women good remains, that's all that matters.
A father should have just as much right as a mother to make decisions regarding his child. As I believe life begins in the womb, this should include before birth. A man should be able to have a say in whether or not his child has the chance to be born. A man should have the right to raise his child instead of seeing him/her given up for adoption. A man should have the right to be actively involved in the life of his child. If you have a problem with anything I just said, then I'd recommend you turn it around. Should a woman have a say in whether or not her child is born? Should she have the right to raise and be involved in her child's life? If you said yes, then it should go without saying that a father should have the same right.
Sunday, September 23, 2007
This is from the father's section of 'The Hero Project'. Many men, women and children have written in to the project to praise their heroes. Oftentimes, their heroes are their dads.
MY DAD IS MY HERO
The MY HERO site has welcomed visitors of all ages from around the world. Many have written to us about their special heroes. Many heroes are fathers and grandfathers. Here are some of their stories.
Caitlin Ezzell from Laguna Beach, CA, "My hero is my dad because he is special to me. My dad is an artist, and an athlete; he is very quick at sports. However, sometimes he loves to lay in the hammock all day and just do nothing! He works very hard during the week and spends lots of time with my brother and me. He will do anything for me. He cheers me up when I am sad. I love my dad!!!"
Erick Emens from Laguna Beach, CA, " My hero is my dad. When we were taking his engine out of his van we had it on an engine hoist and it was held up by a chain and he told me to move away from it. I moved back. When I stopped it fell on the ground and if he had not told me to move, it would have fallen on me and I would have been hurt. My dad will always help others and I will help them."
Christina Lomonaco from Laguna Beach, CA, "My hero is my dad because when he was in gymnastics he entered the Olympics since he was so great at it. My daddy is a loving and caring father and he is going to teach me gymnastics. If there weren't any heroes in the world it wouldn't be as unique a place as it now."
Erick Battersby from Laguna Beach, CA, "My Hero is my dad, David. He is 47 years old. He is a teacher at Astancha High School in Newport Beach. CA. He is my hero for reasons like he is a loving father. He's always figuring out ways to make my life better and always has time to spend with me."
Quek Sze Zhen from Hong Kong: "My hero is my daddy. He is my hero because he helps me get out of trouble and he saves me from my dreadful evil brother!
My father wears glasses that have brown frames outlining the lens. He is 43 years old this year. He is a very decent man and he never forgets his things. He works in Singapore and he is a business man with a high rank at work. He is very good in math, and he encourages me to speak Chinese every Tuesday and Thursday. (But I never do !!!)
He tries his best to bring me out to countries that I want to go because it gives me more experience on other countries.
He is a good man for not spoiling me in buying me whatever I want. But he still buys me some things that I want. He is always wanting the best for me for I am his only daughter. He takes good care of me and that is why he wants me to eat vegetables and other healthy stuff.
He gives me a good life to start my childhood. He is a very loving father, and I enjoy the times when he plays with me a lot. I remember the times when he was teaching me to swim. It was so much fun playing and splashing in the pool. He tries his best to make money for the family. He will always love the family and that is why he is such a loving father.
Jay Knauer from Laguna Beach, CA, "My dad is the greatest dad in the whole world! My dad does nice things for me when I'm good. He gets things for me that I can't reach. He and I like to play sports together. His favorite sport is BASKETBALL! He is a hero to me because he does cool things with me and my friends. He takes me places if I have been really good or I have really good grades. He's home from work early a lot because he wants to spend time with me. He helps build things like my electric train. My dad and I sleep outside during the summer under the stars! That is my DAD. He's my HERO!!!"
Keila Aguilar from Laguna Beach, CA, "My Hero is my Dad because he is always very kind. He never gives up and he helps me in any way he can. He tries to make me happy. He helps my mom with cooking sometimes and sometimes he donates money to the poor. My dad helps my mom in cleaning sometimes. He sends clothes to poor people in Mexico. He helps me with my homework when I do not understand it."
Nicholas McConnell from Laguna Beach, CA, "My hero is my grandpa who passed away at the age of 76. He's my hero because he had lived an eventful life before he died. He was the first principal at Buena High when it was opened, he overcame a heart attack when I was little, and he's also my hero because he loved his family with such devotion."
Chris Brandon from Hong Kong: "My hero is my Dad because he helps me with all kinds of things and likes to play with me a lot. He thinks I do well in school and helps me as much as he can. He has coached almost all of my sports teams except two. We live in Hong Kong so I don't get much chance to play baseball or basketball, but when he coaches our team, we usually do really great. Sometimes we win the championship.
I also like my dad because he works for a toy company and sometimes when he comes home he gives me a toy. Sometimes I get to see stuff that isn't even in the stores yet. Sometimes I get to see drawings of toys before they are even made.
On the weekends my dad spends a lot of time with me and my sister and I think that is neat. We like to rent movies and watch them together in the afternoons. Most dads in Hong Kong travel a lot, so they don't see their kids a lot. My dad doesn't have to travel a lot. He probably only travels once a month, and when he travels, he only goes for 4 to 5 days. When he is gone we really miss him.
My dad and I like to trade baseball cards. We are both big Cincinnati Reds fans because we use to live there and I was born there. It's hard to get baseball cards here, so I always ask for them for Christmas and my birthday and I save them to open up all year long. My favorite Cincinnati Reds players are Barry Larkin and Chris Sabo, but my biggest hero is still my dad! I just think he is the best dad anybody could wish for.
Olivia from California, "My dad is the most gracious, loving person I ever met. In a couple of years I think he could be the smartest man in the world, or at least one of them. He helps me and teaches me right from wrong. He's very funny. He works every day but he spends time with me and my brother and sister every night. He also helps anybody who needs help. Maybe it doesn't seem like it, but he's a hero to me."
How can anyone, in good faith, attempt to take this aways from our children?
You can read more about these fathers and grandfathers that are their children's heroes at,
Friday, September 21, 2007
An ancient race of vampiric creatures exist in the Transylvanian Mountains. Not, evil, just a different race than humans, they possess great powers. The men of the race known as Carpathians, are very powerful and very much 'head of the household', so to speak. The Carpathians mate for life and literally cannot live without their mate. Their mate and families are everything to them. The Carpathian race is dying out, the Carpathian males have found that they are able to pro-create with human women possessing psychic abilities.
You're wondering why I'm torturing you with all this? Women are buying these books by the truckload. Why do women buy specific romance novels? Because they're drawn to the men and relationships that are portrayed in them and the love story that unfolds. What kind of men are they being drawn to? Ultra-masculine, strong, completely unfeminized, utterly un-politically correct ones. Sure it's all fairy tale, but the fact remains, no matter how much the feminists tell women they don't want to be beholden to any man, they don't want to be the weaker sex in need of protection...if you look at the money the author's raking in from her series, the figures tell a very different story.
Unfortunately, due to the fine mess that feminism has made of things, this will all just translate to disaster. Women are beginning to realize the feminists were wrong, what they said we want isn't what we want after all, but they've still been indoctrinated with the 'I can have anything I want and don't need to consider anybody but myself' attitude that prevails among empowered women. The concept will be, "I want a man who's strong and in control...up until the point that it impedes me getting things my own way". This is the muddled mess we're in. Until women realize that you really don't get it both ways, they'll never be truly happy because they're trying to embrace two completely contradictary ideals that are incapable of co-existing.
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
-Martin Luther King Jr.
I've got another hero story for you. This one's a little hard for me to tell because it gets a bit personal. One of my greatest heros of all time is my older brother. We were born a year and a day apart. You wouldn't guess it if you knew me now, but growing up, I was very shy and uncertain. As children, me and my brother were pretty much opposite. Due to being somewhat insecure socially, people tended to percieve me as unfriendly, while my brother was always outgoing and likeable. He was very popular, always funny and fun to be around. When he was 13, a boy moved into some government subsidized apartments that were behind our neighborhood. His family didn't really have any money, so ofcourse his clothes weren't quite up to par to the current standards. He dressed a little different and looked a little different. He was a very talented artist and, as artist tend to do, perhaps acted a little different. One day at school, my brother's best and closest friends, boys he'd grown up with, were being mean to and bullying this kid. Keep in mind that my brother and his friends were the most popular kids in school. I don't know exactly what transpired but my brother told them to leave him alone. He stood up to his friends and defended the kid. He also went further and befriended him. I would like to say that his friends realized the error of their ways and followed my brother's example...but it didn't work out that way. They completely wrote him off as a friend. As my brother insisted on being friends with the boy, they left the boy alone and instead started bullying him. He lost his popularity and all his friends, things that are, for a 13 year old boy, pretty important. I guess he could have gone back to his old friends, apologized and attempted to get back in their good graces. He didn't. I'm sure he knew the price he would have to pay would be to abandon the kid he'd stuck up for. That was something he wasn't willing to do. The boy became his best and only friend. Later that year, my brother died in a tragic accident. Even now, 20 years later, people will tell my mom that his death did more to effect and change them than any other single event in their lives. He died when he was thirteen, before he had the chance to make much of a mark on this world, and although few people outside of the small town I grew up in will ever know his name, I will always consider him to be one of the greatest people I've ever known.
Sunday, September 16, 2007
I came across something disturbing enough that I thought I should devote a little blog time to it. The object of my disgust..."The Pink Bible", found here,
Where to begin, where to begin....well, let's start with the cover. Underneath the title is the phrase, "How to bring your man to his knees". [sarcasm] Because you know, that's what women are supposed to be doing, bringing men to their knees. Relationships aren't supposed to be about mutual respect, but one person dominating the other, in this case, the woman dominating the man and bringing him under her control. [/sarcasm] Ofcourse, if we had any analogies about keeping your wife under your thumb, that would be misogyny at it's finest, but in the reverse, it's delightful and entertaining.
"A huntress must understand her quarry. The first mistake made by inexperienced women on the hunt is to treat men as equals. Men are simple creatures. If you deal with them as equals they will become frightened and confused". At this point, I'm wishing I'd added some options for graemlins to my blog so I could post one of those violently puking ones. From the get-go, anyone following their Pink Bible is already destined to failure in the relationship department. No marriage founded under the belief that the husband is, by virtue of his birth, inferior to his wife, stands any chance of succeeding. Men know. Being, perhaps not as simple as some women would care to assume, they know when their wives look down on them and talk down to them, even if they don't choose to acknowledge it. You see these defeated looking husbands everywhere. Neither them or their wives are ever happy. However, the author, underneath all her feminist anti-male rhetoric, almost makes a valid point. Men are simpler creatures...not as in mentally insuffficient, but as in not emotional messes. Men tend to know what they want without throwing a lot of drama into the mix. A woman, sharing with an unsuspecting male her emotional turmoil, could, quite understandably, frighten and confuse them.
In regards to getting rid of "undesirable males" who are attempting to attach themselves to you, the author gives the following advice, "some women erroneously imagine that these tactless losers have feelings.....If you fail to deal with them ruthlessly, the will never quit pestering you....Employ statements like, "You disgust me," "Nobody could ever love you," and "Never look my way again you vile carnival sideshow." Wow. I have to hope that the author is deliberately going for over-the-top for entertainment value. However, call me overly-emotional, but this part just made me really sad. I can't imagine how that would make some poor guy who believes himself in love, or atleast deep like, feel, being treated so cruelly. The hypocrisy is, expectedly, quite high considering these 'undesirables' are only attempting the very thing the female "huntresses" are being told to do. Imagine the feminine outrage if men were encouraged to tell women who'd developed unwanted attachments that they were disgusting, unlovable, vile canival freaks....even if it were for 'entertainment value'.
Probably most offensive of all is the "Art of Camouflage". Women are advised to "Keep your true personality hidden....by the time he discovers it was all a mirage, it will be too late". This one almost leaves me speechless...almost. Instead of "Art of Comouflage" the section could be aptly renamed, "How to guarantee you'll have a miserable, frustrating marriage that ends in bitter divorce". This has got to be one of the most irresponsible bits of advice ever given. It's like advising women on how to ruin, not only their own life, but the life of the unsuspecting man she marries, not to mention any children that may be born prior to the setting in of reality. Even if we do our very best to be as honest and upfront as possible before marriage, it's inevitable that our spouses will see worse sides of us than they did during the dating phase. Hopefully, they'll also see better sides of us. This is what adversity brings out, our best and worst, and there will always be adversity to be found in marriage. Deliberately disguising our true selves is a guarantee for a failed marriage. The foundation of marriage is honesty and trust. The point of marriage is finding someone who we connect with; someone who loves us for who we are, not who we pretend to be.
On the last page of the Pink Bible's preview we find the following words concerning the woman who has managed, through deceit, to bag her prey, "The victorious huntress has not killed her prey. She has harnessed him. If she continues to employ subtlety and guile, she can steer him like an ox for the rest of her life." Once again...puking graemlin. The obvious slur, comparing the man to a large, dumb beast is, while offensive, completely unsurprising at this point. Again though, we see the hypocrisy. Why do we need feminism? Oh, because evil men try to enslave and control women. What's the solution? We'll teach women that they should enslave and control men...because that's different. I'll also take a moment here to point out the title given to the woman throughout is "huntress". It's nice that something as monumental as the search for our partner in this life, the person with whom we will bear and raise children, has been reduced to analogies on sport hunting. But there you have it. Marriage, families....in today's world, it's all just a game.
Let me conclude by saying that I have not read the Pink Bible, only reviewed the material available at the link provided. However, unless the unrevealed parts go on to contradict and denounce everything that I have read, I have nothing good to say. My first instinct was to assume that it must be a joke, but having read further...I don't think it is. Slightly tongue-in-cheek perhaps, but not a joke, and tongue-in-cheek does not make allowance for things that are offensive, hypocritical and bigoted, atleast not in my book. My second thought, which I expressed on MarkyMark's post, was that it's part of an anti-marriage, anti-family conspiracy to ensure a spike in divorce rates. Either way, it's detrimental to all, to any women who's stupid enough to follow it and any man unfortunate enough to fall for it.
Friday, September 14, 2007
Just to clarify, my position on abortion is that I am largely pro-life. I don't believe in banning abortions. I think in the case of incest, rape or extreme risk to the mother's life, that abortions should be allowed. I don't think that abortion should ever be used as a form of birth control. Everybody knows how babies are made. If you choose to engage in sex, then you're choosing to take upon you certain risks. We also all know that abstinence is the only 100% way to avoid pregnancy, so if we opt not to be abstinant, than we decide to take that risk. I think allowing abortion to save people from taking responsibiltiy for their actions is indicative of the current state of society. This leads me to the rights of father. Currently, the laws in the U.S. do not acknowledge the right of a father to stop the abortion of his own child, but rather place that act solely within the decision of the mother. To put it in perspective, if you're a man who believes that abortion is murder, you don't have any say in whether or not your child is killed. You don't have any rights to protect the life of your own child. However, if the mother should chose to go through with the pregnancy, then you most definitely are responsible for the life of your child.
I'm familiar with the argument that it's a woman's body. It is her body...and she decided to use her body to engage in an activity that could potentially result in pregnancy. And I don't want to hear 1950's era horror stories of women in alleys with coat hangers. This isn't the 1950's. Far from. Nobody's reputation and life is completely, irreparably destroyed. You don't become a social pariah if you become pregnant outside of wedlock without any future prospects. The best solution, in my opionion, would be to ban abortion except for in the instances of rape, incest and threat to the mother's life. If two people engage in consensual sex and a child results then they should be held accountable for their actions. This would do much to cut down on the number of teenagers secretly aborting babies without their parent's consent or knowledge, and fathers agonizing over lives they helped create but couldn't save. The very least that should happen is nationwide parental consent laws for teens and laws that give fathers rights concerning the life of their child. Right now, some of our laws tell us that we, as parents, don't have the right to be parents, and all of our laws tell us that fathers don't have any say in whether or not his baby gets to be born. In light of the fact that we are legally responsible for our children in all other aspects and that a father is held responsible once a child is born...these laws are not fair and need to be changed.
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
The downside of being sheltered is lacking a certain amount of jadedness that becomes almost necessary to live in this world. I have a hard time watching the news. It's hard to comprehend the actions of people in today's society. In my world, people are nice, wives love husbands and husbands love wives, children are wanted and considered precious gifts. Being confronted by the atrocities of the modern world can be difficult when you're not of the world. When you're not of the world, being in a world where values like honesty, chastity, charity and selflessness are not only ignored but often times mocked and scorned can be difficult. It's difficult to recognize that while your children are being read bedtime stories and tucked in with a kiss goodnight, other children are being abused and neglected. I think it's my obligation, as someone in the world to not only be socially aware, but attempt to combat the atrocities around me. So I do. I keep myself educated on current affairs, I help assemble hygeine, infant care and school kits that are sent around the world, I donate monthly to a food fund for the needy and I volunteer for various charity events. Ofcourse, as I do the little bit I manage to find time for, I can't help but feel overwhelmed at times. Looking at the condition of the world, my efforts seem paltry, at best. I'm occassionally tempted to retreat into my own existence, safe from the reality of much of the rest of the world. But I don't. I can't. It's hard sometimes, but I pick myself back up and continue to do what I can to combat the things I know are wrong. Because even if we choose not to be of the world, we still have to live in it.
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Here's Team Hoyt's website if anyone would care to read a little more about these amazing men. Some of Rick's other accomplishments are chronicled as well. It's amazing what someone who was declared as a vegetable was able to accomplish with the help of his father and because his parents refused to give up on him.
Also, I'd like to post the following link to a 9-11 tribute. This was last updated in 2002 and there are some political statements at the end that some might not agree with, but, once again, I'm not posting this for politics. I'm posting it to remember, not only the heroes of 9-11, but also the lives from many different nations and backgrounds that were tragically lost that day.
I'll never forget watching the news on 9-11 before the towers fell and seeing the firefighters, working their way through the mobs of people, fighting to get up into the towers. When everyone else was frantically trying to get out of the buildings, these men were intentionally venturing into them, risking their lives in an attempt to save others, many going to their deaths. What amazing men, what amazing heroes.
Friday, September 7, 2007
If you were to ask people what they want in life, I bet a good majority would say that they want to be happy. I also bet that a good majority of women, assuming they'd even read these books, wouldn't follow them. I honestly believe that a lot of us women today choose to be unhappy. Many, even if handed the keys to happiness and told, "do this, and you'll be happy", would say, "I'm not doing that". If every woman out there who's married would do just a couple of simple things, chances are, they could be very happily married. I'm not talking difficult things either, here are a few that come to mind, 1) Be kind to and support your husband, 2) Show appreciation for your husband, 3) Be affectionate and intimate with your husband. There they are. Nothing groundbreaking. As a matter of fact, they're what should be a given in a marriage. The fact that they're not a given in a marriage is a primary reason why people aren't happy and marriages aren't working. The problem is, most women won't do these things to fix their marriage because the very first thing they'll say is "why should I have to be the one to....?" or "what about him?". They're more worried about being right than being happy. Marriage isn't supposed to be about being right or proving a point. It's not supposed to be a competition or a battle to see who comes out on top. Marriage is supposed to be about unity, partnership, commitment...taking care of one another instead of looking out for oneself.
An important thing to remember in marriage is that men and women are different and different things matter to us and make us happy. If there's something your husband wants that would make him happy (like you wearing that black lace teddy to bed), it might seem stupid or trivial to you, but it matters to him. Unless there are relevant, important reasons not to do these little things to make him happy, why not do them? Keep in mind that the things that are important to you, might very well seem stupid and trivial to him (like noticing your new haircut or remembering to make special plans for Valentine's Day). Marriage is like anything else in life, you get out of it what put into it. If you stop worrying about getting yours, and put everything you have into your relationship, without selfish concerns, you will get back what you give. Unfortunately, today many people are too selfish to truly put themselves out there like that to ever find out if it works. I'll stand as a witness that it does work, that I've personally tried this experiment and found it a success. What I've found is that a husband who is supported and loved is happy and wants nothing more than to make his wife happy.
Thursday, September 6, 2007
It offends me when society belittles the role of motherhood. It offends me that the greatest endeavor that we have the privilege to undertake is treated as an unwanted chore or burden. Being a mother is not a death sentence, or even a jail sentence, it's a sacred calling to be treated with the utmost care. There is no greater blessing or joy than parenthood. There is nothing more important than raising children to be good people, no pursuit more deserving than teaching our children values of honesty, integrity and kindness.
I don't make judgements on women who choose not to have children, although I think it's sad that they will never have the opportunity to experience the joy of motherhood. I do, however, make judgements on those who are granted the gift of children and then abuse and neglect that gift. Being religious as I am, I firmly believe that we will be held accountable for the manner in which we honor our obligations. Even if I weren't religious, I would still believe that nothing is more important than our responsibility to the lives in our care. It's incredible that the argument was ever attempted that there's something more important than the care of our children. What could possibly match the value of innocent lives? What could be more deserving of time and attention than the hearts and minds of our children?
Thirteen years ago, staring into that tiny, wrinkled face, my plans changed...but in some ways they didn't. I WAS going to be something truly great and I WAS going to make a difference. I was going to make a difference in the lives of my children and I was going to be a great mom. I was going to proudly undertake the noble calling of motherhood.
Monday, September 3, 2007
One of the women on the show had written a rude comment on another woman's Myspace page. Two other women saw it and instead of showing any dignity and class and just saying, "that wasn't very nice of her" and moving on, decided to start a war over the whole thing. Basically it ended up being a couple of overly blonde, overly drunk, overly tan women publicly yelling obscenities at one another, culminating with one woman trying to physically attack another.
My husband came in to check on me shortly after I'd clicked on this gem. After convincing him that, yes, it REALLY was a reality show about a tanning salon, he sat down and watched a couple of minutes with me. He said it reminded him of the way our 11 year old daughter and her friends act, with their little squabbles and dramatics...only with lots of swearing, alcohol, attempted violence and very little clothing....o.k., so maybe the only commonality is CHILDISH, but in that aspect, they were neck-to-neck. As they were all out drinking heavily in one scene, I'm going to be optimistic and assume they're at least 21. By 21 I had been married for three years, had a child and was doing my best to nurture and help support a family. Granted, I got married young and I am by no means recommending this as the path for all, but even if I hadn't been there, I would have been somewhere else. Had I not gotten married, I would have almost finished college and been looking forward to starting a career. I started getting involved in humanitarian projects back in high school, so I imagine I would also have pursued some of those avenues. Where I would not have been was publicly yelling obscenities and attempting to start a fight with another woman over a comment on Myspace. I remember as a young girl, having stupid arguements and being overly dramatic, I think it's a girl thing. The thing is, I outgrew that before I hit high school. Me and my friends realized how petty and immature such behavior was and moved on.
In summation, 'Sunset Tan' was truly painful for me to watch. My husband found it pathetic almost to the point of amusing, but he, ofcourse, couldn't share my humiliation. It's like the 'Girls Gone Wild' thing. I'm just shaking my head thinking, "keep your clothes on". I mean, who does that? Who in their right mind would even consider taking their clothes off on camera for a perfect stranger? Especially when you know that perfect stranger is going to distribute it to the masses? Same thing here. I'm just watching these women who are, in my eyes, publicly humiliating themselves and thinking, "who does that?". While I find this behavior shocking and disgusting, I can't help but think these women are representative of quite a few young women in that age group. Thinking that, I find it easier and easier to understand why some young men are finding it harder and harder to respect women.